Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 108 - Lesson 107

Truth will correct all errors in my mind.

My mind continues to be a swirl of activity.  I am struggling with stillness.  I keep encouraging myself. I keep accepting myself. I'm pretty sure I am being open to all possibilities.  Yet, my mind is just like this stormy April weather.  I feel pressure in my third-eye area (this has been happening for quite some time and especially during meditation) - I don't have a headache, it's just pressure....it's sensitive.  I am restless.

I'm usually so happy about the arrival of Monday - it's the Law of Giving and Receiving.  I wake up with a smile on my face because it's such a great day of offering up all sorts of extra good thoughts and prayers.  It's a good day to be more present with others, more loving, more open, and more accepting.  I was kind of snarly today.  I did think good thoughts and offered prayers, but the joy in my heart was battling with the restlessness of my mind - and it just didn't feel good.

Today is a full moon.  This is another thing for me to celebrate.  I was so excited to go to the Goddess Gathering.  I was anxiously, excitedly anticipating which Goddess I would select (or which would select me).  I got Mawu - the Mother Earth Goddess.  I was less than thrilled.  Not that Mawu isn't fabulous - of course she is!  However, the message, in short is, "You are called upon to help with environmentalism."  Okey-dokey.  I have no idea why this is for me this month.  Though I have been feeling sad about the inability to recycle or do something useful with so many containers of things we use that then get tossed in the trash.  These are perfectly good plastic and glass containers.  It seems like such a shame that they go to waste.  Maybe I will be inspired to figure out a solution for this dilemma?

Anyway, I am all for the truth correcting the errors of my mind.  I am feeling alternatively excited and dreading whatever the outcome is of this stormy brew....something is afoot and feels as though it must be something big.....I know, I need to just be, just be....
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