Day 90 - Lesson 89

A review of lessons 77 and 78 -

(77) I am entitled to miracles.
(78) Let miracles replace all grievances.

I love these ideas - they make my heart so happy.  Today is also the Law of Intention and Desire.  These lessons combined made me feel like anything was possible today - and of course it is - but these reminders made it feel so inevitable, so real.

It's not like anything extraordinary happened today.  All in all it was a pretty regular day.  I did have the great honor of being invited to speak at a 'Choose Respect' event that was sponsored by the governor and hosted by the local domestic violence and sexual assault victim advocacy program.  We were one of 64 communities participating in this initiative.  My speech focused on the progress we've made in ending violence from the early 90s to date and how each one of us can model non-violent behavior by responding to frustrating situations with care, compassion, respect, and love.  I really appreciated and enjoyed participating in this event.

So, let's all choose miracles over grievances.  Even when it's hard, let's just love one another a little bit more.

Day 89 - Lesson 88

A review of lessons 75 and 76 -

(75) The light has come.
(76) I am under no laws but God's.

Lesson 75 speaks to the light as salvation and by choosing that rather than "attack" we see what is already there.  Once we see this, it dispels the darkness and we are able to recognize truth.  It sounds a bit 'out there' but when I think about this, and lesson 76, in conjunction with the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, I am able to better understand the message.

Today is the Law of Least Effort, "Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love.  When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy."

I encountered a situation today in which I had to tell myself that I had done everything I could to encourage a decision that I thought was right.  Typically, I would have 'had' to be right, I would have insisted there was no other correct outcome, and I would have been mighty pissed-off if any other outcome had been chosen.  Today I decided that the only way to get past those old negative reactions was to let go - to truly let go of any expected outcome.  I can't control other human beings; I can't control the future.  I can control my in-put, my own work, and my behavior.  So, we met and I explained my perspective.  At one point I felt that old tension rise up, that emotion bubble up - I so desperately wanted to 'defend my position' and prove that I was right.  Instead, I let it go.  I smiled, I thanked the other participants for giving the situation their thoughtful review, and agreed to have them let me know their decision later in the day.  I walked away.  I walked away with a lighter heart and thinking, "The outcome will be as the universe intends it to be." 

The participants came to my office later that afternoon, as promised, and reported that they had changed their minds and concurred with my recommendations. Yes!  I breathed a sigh of relief and of thankfulness.  I acknowledge the Law of Least Effort as a light shining law of God!  Now, to remember to practice it each and every day....

Day 88 - Lesson 87

A review of lessons and 74.

(73) I will there be light.
(74) There is no will but God's.

Two lines from these ideas resonated well with my heart -

(73) This day I will experience the peace of true perception.
(74)  I am safe because there is no will but God's.

I encountered three challenging situations today and before responding to them I reminded myself of these lessons - and particularly of the two affirmations above.  In one case, I was able to detach myself from feeling the need to defend my position.  In another case, I was able to discuss my position without creating defensiveness in the other person.  In the final case, I recognized that I was becoming emotional over an assumption I had made.  Once I realized what I had done, I was able to re-address the situation honestly and in a way that allowed my vulnerability to show.  This helped both of us to see the situation in a way that allowed for immediate resolution of a simple misunderstanding / miscommunication. 

When I maintain focus on love in my heart and detachment from a specific outcome (who am I to believe I can predict the future), a much greater likelihood exists that whatever the challenge or problem is will be resolved in a mutually agreeable manner.  If nothing else, when people feel heard - even if they don't agree with a specific outcome - they are less likely to take it personally.

This may just seem like a better example of effective communication skills (and they are) than a spiritual lesson.  However, I've had loads of training in 'effective communication skills,' I think the spiritual piece is the key to a committed practice (of better communication) for me.  Anytime I effectively communicate with another human being I am good with considering that a spiritual encounter.  After all, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience - we are spiritual beings having a human experience (Teilhard de Chardin 1881 - 1955).

Day 87 - Lesson 86

A review of lessons 71 and 72 -

(71) Only God's plan for salvation will work.
(72) Holding grievances is an attack on God's plan for salvation.

I am exhausted from all of the travel the past two days and from landing and going straight to work today.  A message I heard over and over again last week, at the meditation retreat, and particularly during the yoga classes, is that it is important to make decisions that honor our mind, our body, and our spirit.  In fact, when we make those decisions it shows an advanced practice or understanding.

Therefore, let me just say that I am reaching a place of greater understanding of these two ideas (71 and 72).  And, in honor of my mind, my body, and my spirit - I am going to bed.

Day 86 - Lesson 85

A review of lessons 69 and 70 -

(69) My grievances hide the light of the world in me.
(70) My salvation comes from me.

I wrote my response to this review late last night, after having flown eight hours.  The plane rides weren't conducive to blogging.  However, I saved my response in a Word document to paste here tonight....that document is on the computer I traveled with and not this one.  I'll have to post it tomorrow.

Today was a crazy day of leaving the place where the meditation retreat was held, shopping for home stuff, and then flying for five and then three hours.  Both plane rides were packed full which left little room for any kind of maneuvering.  On the five hour flight, a woman sat next to me and ordered, all at once, three screwdrivers.  When the beverage cart came through the second time, she ordered an additional three.  She passed out after drinking five of them.  During the drinking of them, she had this habit of flicking her fingernail against her teeth – she did this over and over again.  I was reading.  Well, I was trying to read but found myself pulled into listening to her flicking.  I took my iPod out and listened to it and continued reading, but even through that, I found myself being drawn to the flick, flick, flick sound. My immediate reaction was first to give her a ‘dirty look’ because she should have known that her behavior was irritating.  My second reaction was to tell her that she should stop doing that because it was irritating.  I also found myself judging the amount of alcohol she was drinking.  However, instead of doing these things, I took a few deep breaths; I actively thought of all of reasons I should express love from my heart to hers, from my soul to hers.  It’s funny how much better I felt.  If I had engaged her in an unkind way – I most assuredly would not have felt better.

I chose to let my light shine.  I chose to see her light.

Day 85 - Lesson 84

Review of lessons 67 and 68 –

(67) Love created me like itself.

(68) Love holds no grievances.

I am so thankful to have had the great blessing of attending Seduction of Spirit – a meditation retreat developed and facilitated by the Chopra Center.  This retreat has reinforced the truth of these lessons in myriad ways.

Today, the final day of the retreat, we talked a lot about our purpose in life.  While some of us know early on what our purpose is, many of us are still trying to figure that out in our third, fourth, fifth decades.  Some helpful questions in this process are:

What brings you joy?

What makes you lose track of time?  When you are in that moment that the next thing you know – hours have gone by and it feels like you only just began.

What comes easier to you?  What flows effortlessly?

More of the message included –

We deserve to be happy!

Make choices that move you into happiness.

Don’t waste time, explore your purpose and share your purpose.

When we take the time to reflect on our purpose or on exploring the activities that make us feel happiness, feel joy, feel time suspend itself it’s easy to ‘get’ that love created us to be like itself – we are divine creations.  Love holds no grievances because there is no point in that – only an egotistical illusion (a potentially hurtful time-waster). When we recognize that we all behave, respond, and communicate on the level of our current state of conscious, it makes it less likely that we will hold grievances. 

Life in this human form is short - we do deserve to be happy and we just can't go wrong by loving each other more. 

Day 84 - Lesson 83

This continued the review period -

(65) My only function is the one God gave me.
(66) My happiness and my function are one.

This whole week has really reinforced this truth for me.  As this review reminds me - (65) With one purpose only, I am always certain what to do, what to say and what to think. (66) All things that come from God are one.

My heart is so full and I want to be impeccable with my words....when I honor love, holy spirit, when I honor silence, when I embrace uncertainty, my one function is completely clear.  When I step away, step outside of that awareness, of that honor, I feel separate.  The only way to feel whole is to remember love.

Day 83 - Lesson 82

So, I got up late this morning.  I missed pre-sunrise meditation and yoga.  I also missed reading my lessons!  Yikes!  I realized this as I was sitting in meditation later this morning.  As I entered my meditation, I remembered that the two lessons for review would be 63 and 64 - though I couldn't, of course, remember what they said so my intent was to honor the lessons for review without knowing exactly what they were.  I knew they were likely about forgiveness - and, indeed, they are:

The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness.
Let me not forget my function.

I had the opportunity to work on a heart exercise, an emotional freedom exercise, that helped me gain some clarity with a relationship struggle I'm currently experiencing.  I talked about it awhile ago, in that relationships change, but it has continued to bubble up to the surface of my awareness. Clearly a sign that it is unresolved in my heart.  A few hours after the exercise, and after a meditation, we had this amazing opportunity arise that helped me through my pain and confusion this situation is causing.  I focused light and love on the situation and to the person involved.  I have every faith that she felt that light and that love today.  I walked with a lighter step this evening and I am eternally thankful.

There were more than 200 shining lights bringing peace into the world today.  How great is that!

Day 82 - Lesson 81

A review of lessons 61 and 62:  I am the light of the world.  Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.

I left in a bit of a hurry this morning after reading this lesson.  We had a sunrise meditation (actually before sunrise) and on my way there, I kept hearing, "I am the light of the world, forgiveness is my function."  So, I didn't remember it exactly correctly - but I think the "mantra" served me well nonetheless.

Today was all about meditation, silence, movement, and seeing the divine in a very specific way.  One of the exercises in our retreat was that the 200 attendees held hands and moved through a 'dance' in which we looked into each others eyes for a moment in an expression of love.  This was a beautiful expression of recognizing that when we take a moment to look into the eyes of one another, with love in our hearts, that love is indeed visible.  Our lights shone brightly today and whatever was needed to be forgiven was washed away with divine love.

Day 81 - Lesson 80

Let me recognize my problems have been solved.  One particular section of this lesson really resonated for me today, it says:

You are entitled to peace today.  A problem that has been resolved cannot trouble you.  Only be certain you do not forget that all problems are the same.  Their many forms will not deceive you while you remember this.  One problem, one solution.  Accept the peace this simple statement brings.

Granted, spending the week at a meditation retreat distills this lesson in a way that allows for easier digestion (and belief).  However, practicing this lesson daily will make maneuvering stressful times - well, less stressful.

Aside from a lot of meditating today, Deepak Chopra walked us through a lesson in How to Know God.  He addressed the three levels of existence - Physical, Quantum, and Non-Local (also known as physical, subtle, and causal).  He also explained the seven types of biological response - these explain a lot of things and very clearly they describe how we 'know' God based on our own level of consciousness.  It was a lot of information to take in and I'm thankful I've read a few of his books on the matter.

Today, I recognized that my problems have been solved.

Day 80 - Lesson 79

Let me recognize the problem so it can be solved.  This lesson was about practicing asking what the problem is and asking what the answer is.  We do this instead of assuming we already know the answers to these questions.

I find it so incredibly amazing - inspirational - comforting - and if I still believed in coincidence - I would have found this lesson coincidental with the rest of my day....or the other way around.

So, I study my lesson this morning and then attend the first day of my meditation retreat.  The lesson at the retreat focused on asking the questions, the usual questions - Who am I?  What do I want?  What is my purpose in life?  As Davidji reminds us - "ask the questions, live the answers."  Later today Deepak Chopra gave us additional soul questions to ask ourselves:

• What kind of contribution do I want to make?
• What makes me joyful?  What is a peak experience to me?
• What are the best qualities I can express in my personal relationships?
• What are the qualities I look for in a best friend?
• What are my unique skills and talents and how do I want to use them to benefit others?
• Who are my heros, my mentors, my archetypes in history, mythology, religion?

We ask these questions and in the silence of our meditation we cast them as seeds into the universe.  The answers come to us in myriad ways.

These lessons help me to better understand the importance of just being - of feeling secure in uncertainty, of having faith that all things are possible where love is present.

Day 79 - Lesson 78

Let miracles replace all grievances.  This is about looking toward truth and looking away from fear.

I am in a good spot to be practicing this.  I join 200 others in six days of meditation.  Blessings abound in this.  I spent much of my day, silently contemplating this lesson.  I was able to give serious consideration to those whom I hold grievances and then asked for the miracle of forgiveness until separation no longer exhisted.  In one case, this process was more difficult than I had anticipated.  However, I feel closer to the truth and less disappointment in myself.

"When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:
To love more, And be happy." ~ Hafiz

So...let miracles replace all grievances.

Day 78 - Lesson 77

I am entitled to miracles.  I am indeed celebrating this fact today.  While truly believing this statement is doesn't come easy.  We have been so programmed not to believe such and also to believe that we are not 'entitled' to anything.  I was on another long plane ride today and had a lot of time to mull this over.  I re-read the lesson a few times and then practiced it and even said it out loud a few times (with a big grin on my face).

At the end of that airplane journey, I stepped out into an 80 degree day and breathed in the scent of trees and flowers and sunshine.  My path crossed with two of my life teachers.  My sweet man and I listened to the peaceful sounds of Tibetan Meditation music while watching the moon - the 'Super Moon' rise in this glorious sky. 

This is going to be a life-changing, inspiring week.  I look forward to the unfolding and merging of A Course In Miracles Lessons and the teachings of Seduction of Spirit as it has been initiated by this voluptuous full moon. 

Miracles will be recognized, embraced, and celebrated.

Day 77 - Lesson 76

I am under no laws but God's.  This was my mantra all day.  This and I visited the Sweet Spot - a guided meditation about peace with davidji.  I worked this morning, but then flew all day and into the evening. 

Prior to my second flight, the TSA agent, upon entering the secure area of the airport, was bizarre in how he was processing folks.  I felt for him because he was alone and trying to manage three lines.  However, there was no rhyme or reason in the way he was handling the situation.  I kept smiling at him with my mouth, my eyes, and my heart.  As I was proceeding to the jetway to enter the plane, a woman with a large and cumbersome package stepped in front of me and proceeded ahead of me.  She was concerned that people would jostle her and her expensive package.  As we got on the plane, I realized that she was seated right next to me.  She held up the entire line as she tried to fit her pricey package in the compartments above the seats.  This wasn't going well and I could feel the tension rising from her and the other passengers nearby.  I felt myself dreading 'dealing' with her for a three hour flight.

I sat back and asked myself, "What would love do?  God, what would you have me do?"  So, of course, I engaged her in conversation.  She really needed someone to talk to and I was chosen to be that person.  She needed some compassion and I chosen to give it.  She was interesting, funny, and told me about a couple of good books to check out.

There was a time, not so long ago, that I would have not just dreaded sitting next to this person, I would have shown impatience and probably would have even been rude to her.  Thank you that I am less and less that person.  I am under no laws but God's....

Day 76 - Lesson 75

The light has come.  This lesson tells us that today we celebrate the happy ending to our long dream of disaster.  There are no dark dreams now.  The light has come.  I have forgiven the world.

In my preparation to wrap things up before heading out of town tomorrow, I realized that I am filled with an amazing sense of peace.  Usually I would be feeling a bit frantic the day before a trip.  That feeling is completely gone - and it feels wonderful! 

This lesson ends by saying: We dedicate this day to the serenity in which God would have you be.  I am seeing much more clearly and feeling a more continuous depth of love.

Day 75 - Lesson 74

There is no will but God's.  During the 'throughout the day' practice periods, the lesson included saying, "There is no will but God's.  I seek His peace today."

I used this as my mantra today.  In each quiet moment, I repeated these two sentences - over and over again.  I gave this lesson a lot of thought.  As I was reading tonight, I thought very seriously about how difficult it is to attempt to respond and react with love - to everything.  This is what I'm trying to do and holy cow is it ever a struggle.  On the surface it seems like it shouldn't be all that hard - it's the right thing to do.  What's amazing is how often I find myself not at all in the present moment.  And then I sort of wake up and think, "Wow, where was I?"  I can't always answer that question.  Sometimes I just don't know, I'm not paying attention to where I've gone.  That's how caught up I get.  I'm not beating myself up over this.  I'm just recognizing it - observing it.  

I believe this is progress.

Day 74 - Lesson 73

I will there be light.  This lesson reminds me and affirms for me that God's will is also my will - after all, nothing else makes any sense.  I can wrestle with my ego and continue to search among that muck for peace, but not until I release that and allow love to consume my heart will I find peace.

I asked myself over and over again today - Who am I?  What do I want?  What is my purpose in life?  I ask myself these questions every day, but I couldn't stop asking them today.  I am having a hard time believing that I'm actually doing what I'm meant to be doing.  I will continue to do the best I can at what I'm doing, but I believe that in the very near future I will be doing something completely different....

I was reading Marianne Williamson's A Return To Love tonight.  She talks about how we often focus on asking God for a new job, a new house, a new car when really we should just go ahead and ask for a new life.  To believe that a new life is possible and put it out there.  I saw this quote by Wayne Dyer today: "Miracles come in moments.  Be ready and willing."

I am ready for a miracle; as the lesson says today: I will there be light.  Darkness is not my will.

Day 73 - Lesson 72

Holding grievances is an attack on God's plan for salvation.  It all started out so well this morning.  I read and practiced my lesson.  I listened to the Soul of Healing Affirmations by Deepak Chopra.  I studied the Law of Giving and Receiving.

And then, I went to work where I promptly caved into extreme and disappointing sarcasm screaming inside my head.  I almost couldn't even talk to anyone because I had such nastiness spewing inside.  Ugh.  I attempted not to talk to anyone because I just couldn't trust myself.  I even listened twice this morning to the healing affirmation about asking God for clarity.  My lesson was repeating in my head and yet I just couldn't hold the negativity at bay.  Now I am attempting to look at the situation and my reaction without judgment.  Just observing it and letting it be.  This is a hard thing to do when you've spent your life getting angry at yourself.

I would like to find an ashram, a monastery, a garden in which to spend a year or so to study, to meditate, to call upon the ancient sages (and even some current ones) to ask for direction and guidance.  I will get a wee bit of that experience this next week at Seduction of Spirit and I relish the thought.  I am asking for a miracle.

Day 72 - Lesson 71

Only God's plan for salvation will work.  I am super thankful that today is Sunday.  This was exactly the lesson I needed today.  I had several hours to meditate and contemplate and pray today.

This lesson included spending time in silent meditation asking:
What would You have me do?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?
Asking these questions, over and over again, reminded me that faith in love and welcoming uncertainty opens all that's possible.  Deepak Chopra talks about asking the questions with the realization that the answer will come when we are ready to see it - ready to understand it.  I find myself being impatient with wanting the answers to these questions.  However, when I remember to be present in this moment, this very moment that is my life, I am content with the knowledge that the answers will come when I am meant to have them.

Day 71 - Lesson 70

My salvation comes from me.  The author was well aware of the stretch this idea could be for some of us.  This lesson begins by letting me know that all temptation is nothing more than some form of the basic temptation not to believe the idea for today.  Salvation seems to come from anywhere except from you.  So, too, does the source of guilt.  You see neither guilt nor salvation as in your own mind and nowhere else.  When you realize that all guilt is solely an invention of your mind, you also realize that guilt and salvation must be in the same place.  In understanding this you are saved.

Contemplating this and working through this lesson continues to be a bit of a stretch.  However, my mind and heart are open to the possibilities.  I can say that I have far more moments of clarity as I work through this course. 

I'm still a little stuck on the whole 'getting rid of my grievances' stuff.  I gave that one grievance a lot of thought, prayer, and meditation today.  I spoke with a wise friend about it.  Her take is that my feelings about this 'grievance' are so significant because it's less a grievance and more a moral dilemma.  Maybe what I'm struggling with is my reaction to the moral dilemma.  I am reacting as if it was a grievance rather than a moral dilemma.  The reason for this is if I treat it as a grievance then I can blame myself and focus on my reaction.  If I really consider the moral dilemma, in order to honor my commitments, I have a big decision to make.  I've already made the decision, but because I've made my world small - I am reacting to that decision with fear.  Ugh....

Today is the Law of Dharma or Purpose in Life - Everyone has a purpose in life....a unique gift or special talent to give to others.  And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals. ~ Deepak Chopra

I intend to find my purpose in life, my dharma, and live it to the fullest possible extent.

Day 70 - Lesson 69

My grievances hide the light of the world in me.  Part of the practice sessions for this lesson included telling myself: If I hold this grievance the light of the world will be hidden from me.

I have been holding onto a grievance.  I thought I had successfully released it yesterday, but alas I have not.  I got a bit frustrated with myself and then was reminded that allowing that frustration to overcome me gets me absolutely nowhere.  Logically, I am able to tell myself that this grievance is
doing me no good and it's not doing anyone else any good either.  It is, however, one of those 'hot button' issues that my ego likes to grab hold of and get right in my face and say, "See, see, see - you don't like this very much do you?!"  Spiritually, I recognize that this only allows for greater separation and discourages unity.  My ego is like a big hairy dog with a bone.

There it is.  That grievance.  Still lodged in my ego.  I will continue to practice the exercises in letting this grievance go.  I will continue to ask myself, "What would love do?"  I will set my intentions, meditate, and pray.  I want my light to shine and I want to see the lights, too.

Day 69 - Lesson 68

Love holds no grievances.  This is one of those lessons that made me think really hard and reflect deeply.  It's also one of those lessons that I can let 'get away with me' in making it too complicated.  I focused on trying not to do that today.  Several points made in this lesson really struck home with me: To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind... It goes on to talk about how grievances split you off from your source.  It is what reinforces 'old' beliefs about God being somehow able to be angry or hateful - this is ego talking.

I love this thought, too: It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace.

This lesson required searching my mind for all those of whom I hold grievances (from the little ones to the big ones, involving those I don't particularly like to those I love) and to then practice seeing all of them as my friend.  A thought occurred to me that helped me through this practice.  I am reading Deepak Chopra's Soul of Leadership book right now.  In it, he talks about how we each have a light within us.  This light is awareness.  Everyone has it.  Some are more in tune and their light shines a little brighter - others make it more challenging to see their lights.  The bottom line is, whatever gunk and junk we carry around that conceals our light - the light is in there.  It might be buried deep, but it is in there. 

This is helping me release my grievances.  It is helping me to find peace.  Holding on to grievances and resentments only serves to continue the cycle of pain.  I see more and more clearly that the only way to peace is through the active practice of love, of compassion, of forgiveness, and of releasing judgments.

Day 68 - Lesson 67

Love created me like itself.

I always hope that this is true.  I ask myself regularly, particularly in situations where I feel tense or stressed, "What would love do?"

I experienced love through community movement this evening.  A group of women and one man acting as change agents in our community.  It was powerful and I have every faith that this act of love will be the catalyst for necessary change.

Tonight was a great example of how, through loving accountability, no yelling, fist-pounding, no violence - we expressed concerns, fears, hopes, and genuine care with honesty and with faith that our voices would be heard.

Love.

Day 67 - Lesson 66

My happiness and my function are one.  The practice period for this lesson was a review of this: God gives me only happiness. He has given my function to me. Therefore my function must be happiness. Another thought to consider throughout the day was: My happiness and function are one, because God has given me both.

I held onto these thoughts today as if they were life preservers preventing me from drowning in a vast and perilous sea.  Okay, so maybe not quite that dramatic, but I did certainly call upon these thoughts many times throughout the day. 

I had a highly emotional day.  It was kind of a carry-over from yesterday.  I actually cried at work out of sheer frustration.  This is out of character for me.  It's been a long time since I felt such disappointment and felt overwhelmed at the same time.  I really wanted to make everything right.  I had a vision and a plan that would have made things a whole lot better - but I wasn't effective in inspiring anyone else, anyone with the power to say yes to the plan to actually support it.  I am not always right about things.  My ideas aren't always the best.  There are times when doing what is right is obvious, when doing what is right is the ethical and moral obligation.  I was really owning this stuff for a good part of the day.  My devilish ego snuck in and took over for awhile.

Then I received a phone call from a very wise man.  He felt the need to check on me.  I told him that I had been crying.  He reminded me that often when we are feeling at a low point, it is that very thing that propels us into the next really great thing.  That made me smile.  Of course, he is right.

And, besides all that - the fact is, God really does want me to be happy.

Day 66 - Lesson 65

My only function is the one God gave me.

Today was a difficult day.  In fact, I am feeling vulnerable, sad, emotional, blue....I can't go into any real detail about it because of my professional position, but today was difficult.  I know, I know, I already said that. 

My morning routine was typical and nothing out of the norm occurred.  I went to work ready to tackle my 'to do' list and felt good about it.  However, shortly after my arrival, I met with someone who was very sick, then I met with someone who was very mad, then I met with someone who resigned, then I met with five people who lost their jobs, then I met with someone who was injured, then I met with two people who disregarded their own rules, then I met with someone who had a complaint.  I spent less than 10 minutes at home after an 11 hour day.  I went to a meeting that lasted nearly three hours and listened to one painful story, one heartbreaking injustice after another - stuff that mostly all could have been prevented.

Did I have five positive interactions for every negative one?  No, I don't think so.  I didn't, however, mention that in between several of these interactions today, I also met with loving, supportive, caring individuals.  Tonight, I met with brave, courageous, encouraging, inspiring individuals.

I maintained a calm and loving heart throughout the challenges of today's difficulties. So, even though I'm feeling kind of sad and a bit blue - I am also feeling hopeful.  I take refuge in my only God-given function.

Day 65 - Lesson 64

Let me not forget my function.

Certainly, I was given certain talents and strengths for a reason - to use them.  I am working at using them in more deliberate and conscious ways.  I didn't always know what they (talents and strengths) are, but I'm figuring that out too.

Yesterday was my day to host our monthly BUNCO group.  A fantastic group of women (yes, I've mentioned them here before).  Because I have been so inspired by Tom Rath's work, I decided everyone in my BUNCO group would be a winner last night.  The top three winners received inspirational scrolls, the other three winners received tapestries, and every single participant received the StrengthsFinder 2.0 book.  This was the most fun I've ever had at BUNCO.  It felt so good to give everyone a book that is both practical and inspirational.  I have really enjoyed their comments about the book and the things they are learning about themselves. 

One of my strengths is 'Activator' which encourages others to participate in things, to go for it - to get involved and be energized.  I appreciate this strength and I'm super thankful that I was bestowed with it - it is so much fun!

So, as my lesson says today, "Let me not forget my function. Let me not try to substitute mine for God's.  Let me forgive and be happy."

I am blessed, I am thankful, I am happy.

Day 64 - Lesson 63

The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness.

I'm not entirely sure what to say about this lesson.  I did the practice sessions.  I still hold a fair amount of discomfort in my mind with regard to traditional beliefs when it comes to God, the Son of God, and such.  I don't find it getting in my way much.  I can concentrate and get past it.  However, it seems that after all this time and all this study, I would be more 'over it' and I'm not.  It surprises me every now and then.  I think a lot of it has to do with the words of the lesson and not so much the message of the lesson.  However, I do find myself hesitant to broadcast the words of the lesson - even though that's exactly what this blog is for. 

I'm tired.  I had a busy day and a wonderful evening, filled with laughter.  I am thankful for the light, the peace, and the forgiveness.

Day 63 - Lesson 62

Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.  I have been reading books written by Tom Rath recently.  He is a Gallup research and leadership consultant.  He studies people's strengths and how positive interactions benefit us.  I read StrengthsFinder 2.0, Strengths Based Leadership, Well Being - The Five Essential Elements, and now I'm reading How Full is Your Bucket?  I've learned a lot about myself as I've read these books and taken their assessments. This information has been beneficial to me in my spiritual quest, as well.  I've learned that my strengths include - connectedness and positivity.  I've learned that my well-being in all five essential areas are pretty good, I am primarily within the Relationship-Builder realm as a leader, and my bucket is fairly full - and more importantly, I am fairly good at filling the buckets of others.

You might be wondering how all of this ties together?  Well, the way I see it, as I recognize my light - as I start to see the spark of my divine light, I use my strengths and talents in the service of spirit.  I am fulfilling my true function in life.

Day 62 - Lesson 61

I am the light of the world.  The practice session for this idea included repeating: I am the light of the world.  That is my only function.  That is why I am here.

When I look at life from this perspective it's all so simple.  How great that my only function in life is to be the light of the world.  When I remove what 'ego' would say about this it is completely beautiful.  If my purpose is simply to express love, care, concern, and hope to others I can't think of anything else I'd rather do.  The hard part of this is staying present.  When I reflect upon how not present I've been for much of my life I'm astounded; but then I also realize how easy it is to get caught up in life in ways that pull me away from present moment awareness.  In fact, it takes a consistent practice of recognition - "Yoo hoo, you are out there, not here, not now" to pull me back to this very moment.

I love the visual of the idea in this lesson.  When I think of myself as 'the light' and I think of everyone else having the same purpose (and everyone does indeed have the same purpose) I see the most beautiful glow - and I see smiles and I see peace.

So....this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine....

Day 61 - Lesson 60

Lesson 60 was a review of lessons 46 through 50.  The themes of the lessons included: God is the love in which I forgive, God is the strength in which I trust, There is nothing to fear, God's voice speaks to me all through the day, and I am sustained by the Love of God.  I went back and reflected on each of my posts and how these lessons touched my heart, touched my daily experiences, and touched my expressions and reactions.

Last June, while attending the Chopra Center's Perfect Health program, I found this great v-necked t-shirt.  It's a dusky blue with a greenish-goldish vine/tree with pink flowers.  It's really soft cotton and says, on the front, Love this Life....  This, of course, is what drew me to the shirt.  However, this poem by David Culiner, that's on the back of the shirt, is what made me buy it:

LovethisLife...

is about celebrating the moment and that

we're not guaranteed or owed another day

and how cool it is that what we hide

can actually be the fuel towards our glory

and that it's not so bad being proven wrong

LovethisLife...

is about welcoming the blind turn

and the possibility that

there's no such thing as coincidence

and that empathy is incredibly sexy

and that it's never too late to

pick up a guitar or a paintbrush

or to make an amend or to make a new friend

LovethisLife...

could be about rekindling a past flame

or igniting a new one

or shapeshifting from a dreamer into a doer

or savouring the caress of a love long gone

LovethisLife...

means whatever it is you want it to mean because

LovethisLife...

is a celebration of you and your path

LovethisLife...

'cuz it could go at any second

you rock.

This poem represents my life in so many ways.  I do love this life.  I am spending a good deal of time each day relishing in how much I love this life.  I am making an effort and a choice to stop allowing ego and drama to play dominant roles in my life.  I am loving more and fearing less.

Day 60 - Lesson 59

Lesson 59 is a review of lessons 41 through 45.  The ideas for these lessons are: God goes with me wherever I go, God is my strength and vision is his gift, God is my source and I cannot see apart from him, God is the light in which I see, and God is the mind with which I think.


God was with me everywhere I went.  God gave me strength and a new vision.  Spirit / Source / Love - guided me in my simple journey and I will sleep feeling fulfilled in knowing the choices I made today were good. I woke up with a head cold and a day full of loads to do.  I got into work early and stayed as long as possible until heading off to help my special little someones as their parents moved them from one home to another (better and bigger!).  For a few minutes this evening, I grumbled to myself about how I needed to get home and get a few things done - how I didn't feel well, I just wanted to rest.  I also needed to walk the beagle....ugh....and just as I was starting to really feel resentful of no quiet time for me - I changed the course of my thoughts.  I reminded myself that being sick and tired was the best time to get out and enjoy the sunshine.  To appreciate that it's March 1 and the sun was shining beautifully.  To appreciate the quiet of the outdoors.  To spend as much time with two growing special someones who won't always be so excited to have their nana hanging around.  To help where I am needed.