Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Day 67 - Lesson 66

My happiness and my function are one.  The practice period for this lesson was a review of this: God gives me only happiness. He has given my function to me. Therefore my function must be happiness. Another thought to consider throughout the day was: My happiness and function are one, because God has given me both.

I held onto these thoughts today as if they were life preservers preventing me from drowning in a vast and perilous sea.  Okay, so maybe not quite that dramatic, but I did certainly call upon these thoughts many times throughout the day. 

I had a highly emotional day.  It was kind of a carry-over from yesterday.  I actually cried at work out of sheer frustration.  This is out of character for me.  It's been a long time since I felt such disappointment and felt overwhelmed at the same time.  I really wanted to make everything right.  I had a vision and a plan that would have made things a whole lot better - but I wasn't effective in inspiring anyone else, anyone with the power to say yes to the plan to actually support it.  I am not always right about things.  My ideas aren't always the best.  There are times when doing what is right is obvious, when doing what is right is the ethical and moral obligation.  I was really owning this stuff for a good part of the day.  My devilish ego snuck in and took over for awhile.

Then I received a phone call from a very wise man.  He felt the need to check on me.  I told him that I had been crying.  He reminded me that often when we are feeling at a low point, it is that very thing that propels us into the next really great thing.  That made me smile.  Of course, he is right.

And, besides all that - the fact is, God really does want me to be happy.
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