Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 69 - Lesson 68

Love holds no grievances.  This is one of those lessons that made me think really hard and reflect deeply.  It's also one of those lessons that I can let 'get away with me' in making it too complicated.  I focused on trying not to do that today.  Several points made in this lesson really struck home with me: To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind... It goes on to talk about how grievances split you off from your source.  It is what reinforces 'old' beliefs about God being somehow able to be angry or hateful - this is ego talking.

I love this thought, too: It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace.

This lesson required searching my mind for all those of whom I hold grievances (from the little ones to the big ones, involving those I don't particularly like to those I love) and to then practice seeing all of them as my friend.  A thought occurred to me that helped me through this practice.  I am reading Deepak Chopra's Soul of Leadership book right now.  In it, he talks about how we each have a light within us.  This light is awareness.  Everyone has it.  Some are more in tune and their light shines a little brighter - others make it more challenging to see their lights.  The bottom line is, whatever gunk and junk we carry around that conceals our light - the light is in there.  It might be buried deep, but it is in there. 

This is helping me release my grievances.  It is helping me to find peace.  Holding on to grievances and resentments only serves to continue the cycle of pain.  I see more and more clearly that the only way to peace is through the active practice of love, of compassion, of forgiveness, and of releasing judgments.
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