Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 74 - Lesson 73

I will there be light.  This lesson reminds me and affirms for me that God's will is also my will - after all, nothing else makes any sense.  I can wrestle with my ego and continue to search among that muck for peace, but not until I release that and allow love to consume my heart will I find peace.

I asked myself over and over again today - Who am I?  What do I want?  What is my purpose in life?  I ask myself these questions every day, but I couldn't stop asking them today.  I am having a hard time believing that I'm actually doing what I'm meant to be doing.  I will continue to do the best I can at what I'm doing, but I believe that in the very near future I will be doing something completely different....

I was reading Marianne Williamson's A Return To Love tonight.  She talks about how we often focus on asking God for a new job, a new house, a new car when really we should just go ahead and ask for a new life.  To believe that a new life is possible and put it out there.  I saw this quote by Wayne Dyer today: "Miracles come in moments.  Be ready and willing."

I am ready for a miracle; as the lesson says today: I will there be light.  Darkness is not my will.
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