Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Monday, March 14, 2011

Day 73 - Lesson 72

Holding grievances is an attack on God's plan for salvation.  It all started out so well this morning.  I read and practiced my lesson.  I listened to the Soul of Healing Affirmations by Deepak Chopra.  I studied the Law of Giving and Receiving.

And then, I went to work where I promptly caved into extreme and disappointing sarcasm screaming inside my head.  I almost couldn't even talk to anyone because I had such nastiness spewing inside.  Ugh.  I attempted not to talk to anyone because I just couldn't trust myself.  I even listened twice this morning to the healing affirmation about asking God for clarity.  My lesson was repeating in my head and yet I just couldn't hold the negativity at bay.  Now I am attempting to look at the situation and my reaction without judgment.  Just observing it and letting it be.  This is a hard thing to do when you've spent your life getting angry at yourself.

I would like to find an ashram, a monastery, a garden in which to spend a year or so to study, to meditate, to call upon the ancient sages (and even some current ones) to ask for direction and guidance.  I will get a wee bit of that experience this next week at Seduction of Spirit and I relish the thought.  I am asking for a miracle.
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