Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 75 - Lesson 74

There is no will but God's.  During the 'throughout the day' practice periods, the lesson included saying, "There is no will but God's.  I seek His peace today."

I used this as my mantra today.  In each quiet moment, I repeated these two sentences - over and over again.  I gave this lesson a lot of thought.  As I was reading tonight, I thought very seriously about how difficult it is to attempt to respond and react with love - to everything.  This is what I'm trying to do and holy cow is it ever a struggle.  On the surface it seems like it shouldn't be all that hard - it's the right thing to do.  What's amazing is how often I find myself not at all in the present moment.  And then I sort of wake up and think, "Wow, where was I?"  I can't always answer that question.  Sometimes I just don't know, I'm not paying attention to where I've gone.  That's how caught up I get.  I'm not beating myself up over this.  I'm just recognizing it - observing it.  

I believe this is progress.
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