Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Day 71 - Lesson 70

My salvation comes from me.  The author was well aware of the stretch this idea could be for some of us.  This lesson begins by letting me know that all temptation is nothing more than some form of the basic temptation not to believe the idea for today.  Salvation seems to come from anywhere except from you.  So, too, does the source of guilt.  You see neither guilt nor salvation as in your own mind and nowhere else.  When you realize that all guilt is solely an invention of your mind, you also realize that guilt and salvation must be in the same place.  In understanding this you are saved.

Contemplating this and working through this lesson continues to be a bit of a stretch.  However, my mind and heart are open to the possibilities.  I can say that I have far more moments of clarity as I work through this course. 

I'm still a little stuck on the whole 'getting rid of my grievances' stuff.  I gave that one grievance a lot of thought, prayer, and meditation today.  I spoke with a wise friend about it.  Her take is that my feelings about this 'grievance' are so significant because it's less a grievance and more a moral dilemma.  Maybe what I'm struggling with is my reaction to the moral dilemma.  I am reacting as if it was a grievance rather than a moral dilemma.  The reason for this is if I treat it as a grievance then I can blame myself and focus on my reaction.  If I really consider the moral dilemma, in order to honor my commitments, I have a big decision to make.  I've already made the decision, but because I've made my world small - I am reacting to that decision with fear.  Ugh....

Today is the Law of Dharma or Purpose in Life - Everyone has a purpose in life....a unique gift or special talent to give to others.  And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals. ~ Deepak Chopra

I intend to find my purpose in life, my dharma, and live it to the fullest possible extent.

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