Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Friday, March 11, 2011

Day 70 - Lesson 69

My grievances hide the light of the world in me.  Part of the practice sessions for this lesson included telling myself: If I hold this grievance the light of the world will be hidden from me.

I have been holding onto a grievance.  I thought I had successfully released it yesterday, but alas I have not.  I got a bit frustrated with myself and then was reminded that allowing that frustration to overcome me gets me absolutely nowhere.  Logically, I am able to tell myself that this grievance is
doing me no good and it's not doing anyone else any good either.  It is, however, one of those 'hot button' issues that my ego likes to grab hold of and get right in my face and say, "See, see, see - you don't like this very much do you?!"  Spiritually, I recognize that this only allows for greater separation and discourages unity.  My ego is like a big hairy dog with a bone.

There it is.  That grievance.  Still lodged in my ego.  I will continue to practice the exercises in letting this grievance go.  I will continue to ask myself, "What would love do?"  I will set my intentions, meditate, and pray.  I want my light to shine and I want to see the lights, too.
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