Day 365 - Lesson 364

This holy instant would I give to You.  Be You in charge.  For I would follow You, certain that Your direction gives me peace.

When I reflect on this past year....this being the last night of 2011, I am astounded by all that has occurred.  Mostly, I am in full on gratitude for the transformation my life has become.

This past year:

• My youngest daughter moved away from home
• My life-partner and I attended Seduction of Spirit
• I was appointed to the board of directors for the community health center, and shortly thereafter elected as board president
• I became a Chopra Certified Instructor of Perfect Health / Ayurveda
• I became a Chopra Certified Instructor of Primordial Sound Meditation
• I bought a house
• I began a regular 'Sunday Gathering' (where we honor the Law of Pure Potentiality and participate in an Active Meditation)
• I began teaching Primordial Sound Meditation
• I developed a three-minute, twice per day, radio program devoted to inspiration

I asked Source to allow me to be a vessel of Spirit in my thoughts and actions.  I asked God to allow me to be immersed in the philosophy of Vedanta and of Love.

I am in deep and abiding gratitude for the blessings and lessons of this year.  I am setting my intentions for 2012 - you can bet they will include being a vessel of Spirit and being immersed in all that is Love.

Day 364 - Lesson 363

This holy instant would I give to You.  Be You in charge.  For I would follow You, certain that Your direction gives me peace.

I completed my enrollment packet for the Seven Spiritual Laws Yoga Teacher Training course today.  It includes eight months of study, pre-tests, two trips to the Chopra Center - one in August and one in November, practical tests and written tests - lots of philosophy, lots of Sanskrit, lots of anatomy.  After my Perfect Health teacher certification, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to get my Primordial Sound Meditation teacher certification.  This wasn't true about the yoga training.  I had to think about it in more depth - it wasn't automatic or natural for me.  I really like yoga, but I was hesitant to sign right on to the teacher training.  I think part of it is because I don't, or didn't, see myself as a yoga instructor - and that made me believe no one else would see me that way either.  Which, of course, they wouldn't if I didn't see it.  However, over the past few weeks that image in my head has changed.  I have embraced the idea that I can be a yoga instructor and now I'm really excited about it.  Plus, I will have achieved certification as a Vedic Master.  This is extra-special to me - I have committed to these certification programs, I've paid for them on my own, I haven't sabotaged my own success, and my life is truly transformed thanks to the lessons I've learned and because I've paid attention along the way.

I am actually following, listening to, and paying active attention to God's direction and there is peace in my heart.

Day 363 - Lesson 362

This holy instant would I give to You.  Be You in charge.  For I would follow You, certain that Your direction gives me peace.

Yes, this lesson repeats itself - beginning with 361 and ending with 365.  It's hard to believe that the year is nearly up.  I was just sitting here reflecting on how I felt today and then started thinking about all the events, feelings, emotions, and transformations over the past year....more on that later this week.

Today, today, today....I was feeling irritable, out-of-sorts, short-tempered, fat, out of shape, even my hair was bugging me.  I actually got a hair cut today; I had several inches cut off.  I like it and it feels good.  It was a beautiful wintry day today.  I was cold all day though - I just couldn't warm up.

I really need to do my vision board.  I know I will feel better when it's done.  I need to clean out some clutter, organize, and get back on track with a good exercise routine.  All of those things combined will help me feel better.

The good news is: I follow love and that brings me peace.

Day 362 - Lesson 361

This holy instant would I give to You.  Be You in charge.  For I would follow You, certain that Your direction gives me peace.

I had an experience today that initially made me want to cry.  It felt painful and I observed my thoughts that went from that old, "Fine, whatever, I don't care" to "Look at this situation with love in your heart."  I did not have an overt reaction.  I silently acknowledged and observed my thoughts and my feelings.  While it wasn't an enjoyable experience, it is progress.  I recognize the importance of not judging my feelings, just feeling them, and knowing that they will pass and move on.  I may still feel some pain and some sadness, but not to the extent that I lash out, withdraw, or create negativity.  I know that I have meditation to thank for this - and this ongoing study (and the other studies I've been consumed with for the past couple of years).  By being consciously aware of love and responding with love, I am honoring this lesson.  More importantly, I am honoring resolution.

Day 361 - Lesson 360

Peace be to me, the holy Son of God.  Peace to my brother, who is one with me.  Let all the world be blessed with peace through us.

This lesson brought me comfort today.  This Christmas holiday was beautiful and also a bit bittersweet.  I had the great pleasure and honor to spend the holiday with incredibly special people in my life.  However, I also reached out to a couple of people that I've lost touch with - hoping that it would kindle a re-connection.  It hasn't.  That makes my heart sad - though I also recognize that relationships ebb and flow, and sometimes they stay and sometimes they go.  I know that sounds kind of corny, but it's true.  This is why this lesson was of such comfort to me.  No matter what is happening, even when my heart is sad, peace still resides there. And the world is blessed....

Day 360 - Lesson 359

God's answer is some form of peace.  All pain is healed; all misery replaced with joy.  All prison doors are opened.  And all sin is understood as merely a mistake.

For some reason that I can't explain, my thoughts have turned to a person who passed away a few months ago - in October.  He died just a short time before his birthday, also in October.  I didn't know this person well and, in fact, he had every reason not to like me much.  I met him in another place and he was the focus of an investigation I was responsible for conducting.  We never really became friends, but we seemed to like to each other.  I moved away, then he moved away, and then we connected on facebook.  On his birthday, I received a facebook reminder to send him a birthday wish.  I opened his page to do that and learned that he had just recently passed away.  He died while commuting to work on his motorcycle in a city famous for wet roads that are heavy with traffic.  I remember staring at his page and my heart breaking for his family.  I have prayed for them every day since.

This situation reminds me that our lives really can change in a mere moment.  I hope that they (his family) turn to God and their pain and misery is turned to joy - that their pain is healed.

I feel so very blessed by this life.  I am blessed that my pain and misery has been healed and turned to joy.

Day 359 - Lesson 358

No call to God can be unheard nor left unanswered.  And of this I can be sure; His answer is the one I really want.

There was a stretch of years, of time, when I would have poo-pooed this statement.  After the past couple of years, however, and directly due to my meditation practice, I now know that this is indeed the truth.  Once I was able to quiet my mind and really listen; once I became disciplined in living a cleaner life - not drinking, not smoking, and being mindful not just of what I was ingesting orally, but also what I was ingesting through all of my senses.  In addition, I became more conscious in my choice-making - much more.  All of this has only enhanced my life in the best possible ways.  I had no idea how wonderful life could be - that it can mostly be stress-free, that it is full of love and possibility!  What's interesting is that becoming 'disciplined' hasn't been difficult or challenging.  Once I let go and embraced the rituals of greater reverence, it all just happened - this seems to be exactly: letting go and letting God.

On that note, Merry Christmas, what a miraculous day!

Day 358 - Lesson 357

Truth answers every call we make to God, responding first with miracles, and then returning unto us to be itself.

Well, it's Christmas Eve and it's beautiful.  We had a fun day of present wrapping, feasting, walking in the crisp, cold, snowy weather, story-telling, sharing - all the things that make this time of year so special.  We also had a situation in which one family member wasn't forthright about something with another....I reflected upon this lesson and just loved that family member - believing in my heart that the right thing will happen, the right conversation, the right openness, the right healing.  I believe that a miracle is going to happen.

Day 357 - Lesson 356

Sickness is but another name for sin.  Healing is but another name for God.  The miracle is thus a call to Him.

I thanked God all day today.  I had the whole day off and it was filled with all things wonderful.  I got my daughter's room ready for her arrival home.  I baked and everything I baked was something that I hadn't ever tried before.  Some things turned out well, while others weren't the greatest.  I picked up two special girls at the airport today and watched my grandsons complete fascination and joy at watching the planes land.  We had wonderful family time today.  My special guy and I took a walk with our beagle.  The walk started our picture-perfect, but on our way back a blizzard struck.  And it was a doozy!  There were plenty of parts of my day that I could have been disappointed or frustrated, but there was just no reason to look at anything that way.  It was a beautiful day, filled with joy and laughter and love.  Lots and lots of miracles to be thankful for!

Day 356 - Lesson 355

There is no end to all the peace and joy, and all the miracles that I will give, when I accept God's Word.  Why not today?

Deepak Chopra says if we were to give just one percent of our attention to God each day we would be the most enlightened people in three months time.  I'm not sure how he came up with that statistic, but I'm going to believe him.  I am striving to live a life in which I am a vessel of spirit in all my thoughts and actions.  I don't want to be a nun or 'a professional God person' I just want to live a life devoted to honoring Source.  So, that's what I'm doing....

Day 355 - Lesson 354

We stand together, Christ and I, in peace and certainty of purpose.  And in him is His Creator, as He is in me.

A conversation came up today that reminded of a spot in my heart that is hurting.  Mostly I am able to acknowledge the sore spot without much judgment, but I haven't come up with a solution to heal it.  It feels like an open wound that won't heal until it gets the right medicine.  During the conversation, I felt the sore spot, I poked it and smooshed it around, I caressed it, and, as always, allowed it to be.  Since the sore spot occurred, I have asked for higher guidance in finding a resolution.  I'm not sure if I've been given the answer and I'm ignoring it, but nothing has come to me that seems all that clear.  I have nothing but love in my heart for this sore spot.  I am ever hopeful that it will be healed.  I will repeat this lesson over and over; I will chant it, say it, pray it, and meditate with it....maybe then....

Day 354 - Lesson 353

My eyes, my tongue, my hands, my feet today have but one purpose; to be given Christ to use to bless the world with miracles.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind all day - my perspective of events was completely different.  I was more patient, I listened better, I focused on the tasks at hand with greater clarity. 

I had a delightful lunch with three of my coworkers today - the topic: meditation.  It was wonderful.  This is not a topic that would have been discussed a year ago without some ridicule or jokes or a just a quick acknowledgment before someone changed the subject.  It is true that when I change me....I change the world.

Day 353 - Lesson 352

Judgment and love are opposites.  From one come all the sorrows of the world.  But from the other comes the peace of God Himself.

....You have given me a way to find Your peace again.  I am redeemed when I elect to follow in this way....

When I elect - when I choose.  I always have a choice.  I can focus on what I don't like or I can focus on what I do like.  In every moment I have the opportunity to choose my perspective.  I can choose a miracle or I can choose a grievance.  My choices impact others - I can choose to impact others with love or I can choose judgment.

I choose the way of peace....

Day 352 - Lesson 351

My sinless brother is my guide to peace.  My sinful brother is my guide to pain.  And which I choose to see I will behold.

The message that speaks most clearly to me in this is I project me - what I see in others is how I see myself.  My projections are a reflection of my state of internal health.  When I look upon others with judgment, with a sense that I am better than or less than, I diminish the holiness - the expression of the infinite - from which we are all born.

More and more I am seeing love and releasing fear....Moksha (freedom, liberation).

Day 351 - Lesson 350

Miracles mirror God's eternal Love.  To offer them is to remember Him, and through His memory to save the world.

This reminds me that I always have choice - I can choose miracle or grievance in every single situation presented to me.  Today, I got caught up in a situation in which I went on auto-pilot instead of just stopping, breathing, and accepting.  I lashed out, got angry, and became visibly irritated.  Of course, that response helped no one and nothing.  In fact, it just made people feel bad.  In the end, it made me feel bad too.  I would have gotten a great deal farther ahead and with less frustration had I simply stopped, breathed, and accepted. 

Day 350 - Lesson 349

Today I let Christ's vision look upon all things for me and judge them not, but give each one a miracle of love instead.

And then it says:

Our Father knows our needs.  He gives us grace to meet them all.  And so we trust in Him to send us miracles to bless the world, and heal our minds as we return to Him.

Getting clear about love and the fact that until we find love, and stop struggling, fighting, judging, blaming, fearing....well, there is only 'limited life.'  When I push back, when I take things personally, when I get into the mode that, "things are being done to me, because of me" I am unable to fully experience the glory of life. 

I read this more as universal God energy than a traditional 'he - God' because that is what makes sense to me and my soul.  I've come to realize that I can appreciate and find great value and instruction in the message without assigning a traditional visual or context. 

When I settle upon the truth that, "There is no resolution where love is not present,"  I have all the answer I need.  And what's more: I see miracles.

Day 349 - Lesson 348

I have no cause for anger or for fear, for You surround me.  And in every need that I perceive, Your grace suffices me.

This lesson seems especially meaningful today.  Our community tragically and unexpectedly lost a long time member.  In times of shock and grief it can often be easy to lash out at God, Spirit, the universe because it feels so unfair.  However, I recognize now that we are guaranteed nothing and we really should strive to make the most of our time in physical form.  I am comforted in knowing that my spirit does not die and the 'real' world is far more expansive than this physical experience I am having.  While the family and close friends of the man who passed today feel the deep wounding pain of loss, I hope they will soon be comforted in knowing that his spirit lives on with great strength and presence.

Day 348 - Lesson 347

Anger must come from judgment.  Judgment is the weapon I would use against myself, to keep the miracle away from me.

The final statements in this lesson are:

Listen today.  Be very still, and hear the gentle Voice for God assuring you that He has judged you as the Son He Loves.

I spent a number of years being angry and judgmental - especially towards myself.  I still catch myself thinking things that are judgmental and angry - towards myself and others.  I'm trying to be better about observing those experiences without berating myself, but really asking myself: what is causing this reaction?  what is it about this situation, person, etc. that is causing me to feel fear, irritation, anger?  Sometimes I have immediate answers and sometimes I don't.  In each case I ask the universe, God, Source to help me to be a vessel of love and to release feelings of fear and negativity.  This has made a big difference in my life.  Making conscious choices, living in the moment, and being open to other perspectives and points of view without feeling such a strong desire to defend myself have all really made a tremendous difference in my quality of life (and the quality of life in those around me as well).

Days 344 - 347 Lessons 343 - 346

Being without internet service and being on the road in an intermittent mix over the past several days has put a real crimp on my ability to post.  While I was able to review my daily lessons, I wasn't able to blog about them.  I don't think any of us missed much.  I've been in a blog slump for awhile.  This 'break' may have been some sort of blessing....guess we'll see.

Lesson 343 - I am not asked to make a sacrifice to find the mercy and the peace of God.

Lesson 344 - Today I learn the law of love; that what I give my brother is my gift to me.

Lesson 345 - I offer only miracles today, for I would have them be returned to me.

Lesson 346 - Today the peace of God envelopes me, and I forget all things except his love.

I find that I am at a loss for words....after re-reading all of these lessons, I'm just not sure there is anything more to say.  When I maintain in my awareness the reality that God only wants my happiness, that I was created exactly as I was meant to be, that every gift of love is mine and that I don't need to force any solution and I don't need to struggle through life - well, that's all I need.  The tricky part is maintaining that awareness without allowing auto-pilot to switch on and slip back into the fearfulness that exists in much of our surroundings.

My life has been swinging between my home here and my new home there, my day job now and my dream job on the side....I'm feeling a bit discombobulated, but I know this for sure: I am loved, I am safe, and the shining light of the divine will guide me along the path I am meant to travel....

Day 343 - Lesson 342

I let forgiveness rest upon all things, for thus forgiveness will be given me.

This is such a great line:  I thank You, Father, for Your plan to save me from the hell I made.

How true is that!  I had made hell in my life and felt in a pretty constant irritable tail-spin for a lot of years.  It feels like it was so unnecessary.  However, it was necessary apparently for me to get here.  I had to go through that stuff and the journey will continue and the lights will keep coming on.  How exciting is that!

Well, yet again, I am completely worn out.  I've been busy with a whole lot of physical labor in getting moved into our new house.  It's so much fun - but since we're here only a short time - it's fast and furious. 

I have so much to be thankful for and I truly am thankful!!

Day 342 - Lesson 341

I can attack but my own sinlessness, and it is only that which keeps me safe.

I am so tired, I'm delirious....I'm having a hard time framing in words what this means to me.  However, I love this part of this lesson:

I am he on whom You smile in love and tenderness so dear and deep and still the universe smiles back on You, and shares Your Holiness.

I am just so thankful to know that I am of divine light, that I am protected by the loving energy of the universe, that miracles occur all day - every day.

Day 341 - Lesson 340

I can be free of suffering today.

I love that this lesson says (in part):

Be glad today! Be glad!  There is no room for anything but joy and thanks today.

I can attest to the fact that this is true - completely, 100%, authentic, true!  I can be free of suffering (excluding the heels I wore all day - ugh) and I was, and I am!  Today was such a glorious day!  It was cold here, in the teens cold, but the sun was as bright and abundant as it can be on a crisp wintry day.  We donated to an important cause - contributing to the community that will soon be ours.  We continued to get organized for our new house.  We took care of medical and dental appointments.  The day was filled with potential, with good work, with love and care!

I am glad today, glad and thankful!!

Day 340 - Lesson 339

I will receive whatever I request.

This sure does seem to be true lately!  Synchrodestiny, divine energy - all of it seems to be flowing in my best interest.  I am amazed, humbled, and grateful beyond measure at the blessings bestowed upon me.

I am exhausted after the late night travels and all the activities of this glorious day.  However, I recognize in each moment all there is to be thankful for and all there is to appreciate.

When I acknowledge and honor being a vessel of spirit and focus my life's activities and thoughts with that awareness - divine energy unfolds a path of glorious existence.  OMazing!

Day 339 - Lesson 338

I am affected only by my thoughts.

I have been flying all night and throughout this recent journey (not quite there yet), I have reflected upon my thoughts and have tried to observe them without judgment.  I also practiced an exercise all night, every hour or so, I would ask myself: "What can I appreciate about this very moment?  I came up with an answer - actually more than one answer every single time I asked the question.  This is a terrific exercise and I plan to continue to practice it.  When I do, I am positively affected by my thoughts.  It helps me re-frame from potential frustration and negativity to remembering that there is always something to be thankful for....in every single moment.

Day 338 - Lesson 337

My sinlessness protects me from all harm.

This lesson is amazing.  However, it's a good thing there's all sorts of - nearly a year's worth - of prep for it.  Those of us who were raised with traditional teachings struggle quite a lot with the idea of sinlessness.  So, I especially love the prayer for this lesson:

You Who created me in sinlessness are not mistaken about what I am.  I was mistaken when I thought I sinned, but I accept Atonement for myself.  Father, my dream is ended now.  Amen.

I am so thankful this lesson arrived on a Sunday for me.  The day in which I honor the Law of Pure Potentiality.  The day in which I gather with other like-minded souls in an active meditation.

Today was an incredibly beautiful autumn day.  There were a couple of inches of snow on the ground that fell during the darkness of morning.  The sun came out in amazing radiance.  There were tufts of white clouds billowing about and it was calm.  I took a walk and reveled in the crisp air.  I couldn't find my 'being outside' ear buds for my i-Pod and, at first, I was kind of irritated over it.  But then as I walked I realized I wasn't meant to listen to anything on my i-Pod.  I was meant to experience the walk.  It was quiet but for birds (and a few vehicles), but I could plainly hear each footstep in the crunch of the snow.  I was so inspired by this walk that I developed a guided meditation.

The meditation ended with.....and as I reached the summit, I lifted my face towards the sky and felt the sun's radiance kissing my skin where it was exposed.  A gentle breeze came along and tickled my heart and whispered to my soul the ancient wisdom and primal knowledge that had always been there: "Aham Brahmasmi" (I am the universe).

Day 337 - Lesson 336

Forgiveness lets me know that minds are joined.

I am truly thankful for forgiveness and for the ability to feel the collective energy that connects us all.  It is a relief to release fear, and judgment, and expectation; to let go of the need to defend my point of view and to stop taking things so personally.  Not that I do this consistently and not that I am perfect - it is a constant practice.  However, having this in my awareness and being a conscious choice-maker is what has allowed me to see this.

Let go....reach into your heart and take out your shades of love as you gaze into your next challenge or obstacle - you will see a miracle.

Day 336 - Lesson 335

I choose to see my brother's sinlessness.

As I was recording my radio spots this evening, I used a passage from Dr. Wayne Dyer's book The Power of Intention - Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way, that made me think and reflect upon this lesson.  I was reading the section on how our energies impact others and this particular passage was especially powerful for me:

Your presence aligns others with beauty. When you're connected to intention, you see beauty everywhere and in everything because you're radiating the quality of beauty.  Your perceptual world changes dramatically.  At the higher energy of intent, you see beauty in everyone, young or old, rich or poor, dark or light, with no distinctions.  Everything is perceived from a perspective of appreciation rather than judgment.  As you bring this feeling of beauty appreciation to the presence of others, people are inclined to see themselves as you see them.  They feel attractive and better about themselves as they circulate that high energy of beauty.  When people feel beautiful, they act in beautiful ways.  Your awareness of beauty impacts others to see the world around them in the same way.  The benefit, once again, is twofold.  First, you'll be helping others become appreciators of life and be happier by virtue of their immersion into a world of beauty.  Second, your own intentions receive the assistance of those people who have acquired newly enhanced self-esteem.  Beauty proliferates in others just by virtue of your presence when you're connected to intention. 

Once I let go of taking things personally (striving for that) and allow people to be who they are, this lesson and Dr. Dyer's advice work - and they work miracles.  This lesson says this: What could restore Your memory to me, except to see my brother's sinlessness?  His holiness reminds me that he was created one with me, and like myself.

That is truly aligned with beauty and a beauty I pray to always remember....

Day 335 - Lesson 334

Today I claim the gifts forgiveness gives.

I will not wait another day to find the treasures that my Father (Source, Spirit, Love) offers me.

I added the Source, Spirit, Love part....the traditional images still affect me with a negative twinge.  I'm not entirely sure why, but they do.  My heart, however, recognizes the vital energy source to which we are all connected.

This evening I've been in that funky spot where I feel like I have too much to do, but I'm thankful, but still a little concerned about getting everything done and getting it done well.  I'm not hungry, but I want to eat.  I feel heavy, but I also feel joy (lightness) in my heart.  My mind is racing, but I want to rest.

I do recognize the treasures and gladly accept them.  Even when I am going back and forth between the swinging pendulum of life - it's all about balance and allowing life to happen and appreciating this moment.  It's also about letting go and allowing the funky spots to just be what they're going to be....because they always go away - usually sooner than later.

Day 334 - Lesson 333

Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here.

This lesson addresses the ultimate importance of shining the light of truth on conflict - to forgive it to resolve it.  We must release our defenses in order to resolve it.  This happens pretty readily as we stop taking things personally.  It is amazing to me how when I take a step back and take a deep breath in, when I'm starting to feel like I need to defend something - when I just allow the space to be there - when I allow someone to vent without taking it on; just respectfully listen - I am set free. It definitely takes practice and conscious awareness, but when it happens it is such a beautiful release.  You'll want to experience it again and again.  I know I do.

Day 333 - Lesson 332

Fear binds the world.  Forgiveness sets it free.

This lesson starts out by saying:

The ego makes illusions.  Truth undoes its evil dreams by shining them away.  Truth never makes attack.  It merely is.  And by its presence is the mind recalled from fantasies, awaking to the real.

It goes on to say much more and makes so much sense.  In fact, it dawned on me today as I was getting frustrated with a decision that hadn't been made.  A decision I was waiting on so I could make a decision.  I was actually starting to feel some anger and frustration that I realized I was holding onto.  I cursed, clenched my jaw, I was thinking, "Grrr (well, insert curse word), this is really ticking me off - this needs to happen so I can make my arrangements."  This is when the light went on....there was no one to be angry with, everything is going to work out, maybe not in exactly the way I had mapped out and maybe not in exactly the time line I had planned, but it is all going to work.  I made my arrangements, made plans given the information we have, and worked with all interested parties towards the common goal.  Aahhh, yep, that felt so much better.  Like a weight taken off my chest.

Once I released my, my, my, me, me, me and focused on the common goal things began to fall into place. While I was constricted with frustration (insert fear) I couldn't see how things were going to work out.

Release fear - forgive and be set free.

Day 332 - Lesson 331

There is no conflict, for my will is Yours.

Some days just feel like a blur....like everything is slightly out of focus.  I'd like to think this feeling is a higher state of consciousness - that is about to come into focus, but it must not be, since it doesn't make any sense to me.  Yeah, that was rather flippant.  It was a fine day overall.  I got a lot accomplished.  I always appreciate that.

This lesson continues to reinforce the oneness and wholeness of Source.  And my connection to Source in all things.  There is no reason to fear or feel conflict because all there really is is the Will of Love.

I am understanding my intentions and the direction God seems to be sending me more clearly.  I have released the need to control the journey and I'm learning to let go of a few lingering anxieties.  What a blessing this adventure is.

Day 331 - Lesson 330

I will not hurt myself again today.

This lesson starts by saying:

Let us this day accept forgiveness as our only function.  Why should we attack our minds, and given them images of pain?

My day has seemed to revolve around reminders of: my life's purpose.  Maybe I'm focused too much on this question.  I am so loving being an instructor of Primordial Sound Meditation and Perfect Health / Ayurveda.  I love facilitating the Sunday Gatherings (we recognize the Law of Pure Potentiality and experience an active meditation).  I love preparing and recording my radio spots that run each week.  I want these opportunities to continue to evolve and grow and expand into the way I make a living.

My journey has led me to this new level of awareness and now I just want to embrace it with my whole being.  It's challenging to focus on my bread and butter job - not that I don't appreciate it, I do!  However, I feel so ready to move on and yet I don't know what that means?

I will give it up to the universe, to Source, to Love....the answers will come, the outcomes will spontaneously emerge without my interference.  I leave it to Source - the best possible caretaker of my evolution.

Day 330 - Lesson 329

I have already chosen what You will.

And I am safe, untroubled and serene, in endless joy, because it is Your Will that it be so.

I can say that for the first time in my life this is absolutely true.  I am no longer consumed with worry and anxiety.  Instead, my heart is warmly pulsing with love and joy and I know that, whatever happens, I am safe.  I have no idea what tomorrow or even the next five minutes has in store for me, but I know that as long as I trust in Source I have nothing to fear.  I am loved.  I belong.  Me being here is no accident and my only purpose is to be happy.  Therefore, I choose those things in my life that encourage happy.  When challenges or perceived obstacles arise, I trust that there is a reason.  Often it is in our darkest hours that we are propelled to our brightest experiences.

Day 329 - Lesson 328

I choose the second place to gain the first.

This lesson talks about how we so readily believe what our minds, our egos, tell us.  However, when we listen to the Voice for God, things begin to fall into place so much more easily.  Since we don't always put listening to the voice of God first, we do it second, hence the lesson....

This lesson also says:

It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God's creation is the way in which salvation is obtained.  Yet all we find is sickness, suffering and loss and death.  This is not what our Father wills for us, nor is there any second to His Will.  To join with His is but to find our own.

I wake up each day asking how I may be a vessel of Spirit.  This practice has deepened my understanding of this lesson and opened my heart to far greater possibilities than I could have ever imagined.  I'm not always immediately remembering to listen to the Voice of God, but the more I do, the more I look forward to hearing it.

Day 328 - Lesson 327

I need but call and You will answer me.

There was a time when I didn't believe in this at all.  It didn't seem possible and it didn't seem plausible.  However, once I started making choices that opened my heart and my mind - my eyes were opened to seeing and my ears were opened to hearing the answers provided by God energy.  The more I began to love myself and treat myself with respect and care, the easier I found my way to the field of holy energy that is everywhere.  When I added meditation to my daily practices, I found I was listening to God's voice.  Now I believe.

Day 327 - Lesson 326

I am forever an Effect of God.

With this thought held firmly in my heart, I can only express awe at the reality of it.  How amazing that I am an Effect of God.  Seems such a shame to fear or feel anxiety because when I embrace my own holiness, fears and anxieties fade away.  Being in touch and remaining centered in the field of God energy is tricky when you're human.  It is fairly easy to get caught up in day-to-day routine, to get mired down in the past, and to daydream about the future.  However, keeping this thought firmly in my heart will help me to, more often, cherish this present moment and to be thankful for what it is - the only moment I have in this form.

Day 326 - Lesson 325

All things I think I see reflect ideas.

Today I watched as the snow fell.  It caught my attention and I couldn't stop looking at it.  I thought about how each snowflake is unique - that no two snowflakes are exactly alike.  Much like humans, we are all unique and no two of us are exactly the same.  I was mesmerized and felt completely connected to each flake of falling snow.  I felt a touch of sadness when it stopped snowing.  The beauty of this moment was in feeling how miraculous it is that we are all connected to the same energy source - that my personal body is connected to my environment, and my breath is connected to my mind, and my mind is connected to my soul, and it all melds into one all-connecting energy field.

Day 325 - Lesson 324

I merely follow, for I would not lead.

This lesson made me reflect on the past couple of years and how different they have been in comparison to all the many prior.  I remember feeling lost and, yet, "in charge" of my life.  Now, even though I may not know the exact direction I'm going, I don't feel lost.  I trust that when I ask the soul questions - "What is my dharma?  What is my purpose in my life?" and as I list my intentions and reflect upon them prior to meditation, that I release the need to "be in charge" and I honor the higher power, the field of energy, that directs my life without me complicating things.  I trust that the universe is on my side.

Day 324 - Lesson 323

I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.

I'm glad this was the lesson today - it was, as it so often is, fortuitous because as I was busy writing my radio spots for this week, I found myself drifting off into worry.  I was worrying about all the things I needed to do at work this week and I also thought of something I hadn't done before I left for my recent trip.  This is something that should have been done and I completely forgot about it, until today!  I could feel that old anxiety twisting around my heart and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach....and then I remembered this lesson.  I realized there is nothing to fear.  I simply need to own up to what I forgot and make it right, or at least make it as right as I can. 

This is such a beautiful thought to keep in the forefront of my mind:

And as we pay the debt we owe to truth,  - a debt that merely is the letting go of self-deceptions and of images we worshipped falsely - truth returns to us in wholeness and in joy.  we are deceived no longer.  Love has now returned to our awareness.  And we are at peace again, for fear has gone and only love remains.

I could continue to wallow around in fear and feel all sorts of awful about having forgotten this thing - but what would the gain be?  For anyone?  No one would gain from me feeling that way.  After all, I didn't intentionally forget this thing.  I didn't purposefully not do it out of some sort of malicious intent.  I feel badly that it didn't get done and I will do all I can to make it right as soon as I am able to do that - which is tomorrow.

Yes, I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.

Day 323 - Lesson 322

I can give up but what was never real.

This lesson makes a couple of key points for me:

• I sacrifice illusions; nothing more.
• What loss can I anticipate except the loss of fear, and the return of love into my mind.

I was writing my radio spots for recording tomorrow.  I wrote the first day without any trouble.  However, as I got busy writing the next day and thinking about the days that would follow, I started to worry that everything I needed to talk about included the importance of Spirit.  The theme this week is intentions, and when we set intentions and we give up the outcome to Spirit or Source without attachment, we set in motion an open path to achievement.  My struggle, as I was thinking about it, was how this message would be perceived - would I alienate people?  How would traditional Christians feel about this message?  How would atheists feel?  I was reminded that as long as my message is given with love, people will most likely perceive it positively and that I shouldn't worry about it beyond that.  This lesson reinforced that reminder for me.

Love, Spirit, Source - that is what's real.

Day 322 - Lesson 321

Father, my freedom is in You alone.

This lesson is about recognizing that when I try to force solutions and predict the future I find myself mired down in confusion and frustration.  At least, this is how I am interpreting it.  It wasn't until I released my need to try to control everything that I began to experience a sense of freedom.  When I began to be instead of do.  When I opened my heart to love and pure potential I began to breathe easier.  It has taken a long time for me to grasp a basic understanding of detachment and in being okay with uncertainty.  I am starting to understand that freedom is when I don't take things personally and it's when I allow people and situations to be as they are without defending my point of view or having rigid expectations.

The more I release my heart and my awareness to love and to pure potential the less constricted I feel and the more the universe (the whole great big wild and wonderful universe) opens up to me.....Aahhh, yes - the Law of Giving and Receiving.....

Day 321 - Lesson 320

My Father gives all power unto me.

This lesson reminds me that it is always in my power to choose either - miracle or grievance.  This is true in every single circumstance.  I choose whether or not to be happy or, as one of my most dear friend's says, "a long time mad."  How I approach and respond to life is all in my power.

I choose happy and I choose miracle and I choose love.

Day 320 - Lesson 319

I came for the salvation of the world.

I really only have one thing to say about this and it's been coming up a lot the past several days - it seems to come up at least once per day - that I am reminded that Jesus said, "I am not in the world, the world is in me."  I honestly don't know from which gospel this is from and a quick search on line didn't produce it.  However, I have heard this several times from many credible resources. 

The thing is - salvation of the world is my own salvation.  I understand this better and better all the time - especially when I give myself permission to just, "shut up."  And I mean this genuinely.  When I close my mouth and listen without worrying about exhibiting my own opinion - my whole world opens up.

Day 319 - Lesson 318

In me salvation's means and end are one.

The most powerful sentence in this lesson for me is this:

"I was created as the thing I seek."

There's just no reason to neglect or forget that I am divine and yet that's exactly what I've done - it's what most of us do.  I am, however, making my way back to discovering my divine nature.  The journey is fascinating and the more open I am to just being and just loving the path becomes so much more clear.

Day 318 - Lesson 317

I follow in the way appointed me.

The way appointed me today is one of flying across the country. This lesson talks about our special talents and roles. Our divine purpose. I am very actively seeking guidance and remaining open to the directions provided by the universe. Ask the soul questions; live the answers.

Day 317 - Lesson 316

All gifts I give my brothers are my own.

I spent a week of active gift-giving-receiving during this tremendous time in Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  Each day was filled with the highs and lows of an emotional journey in recognizing that we are divine beings.  I am thankful beyond words for this experience.  I am looking forward to sharing the beauty and comfort of this practice.  If it was appropriate to be a 'Primordial Sound Meditation Evangalist' - well, I'd be all over it.  However, I recognize the ultimate importance of letting my light shine without 'preachin' anything.

It is such a gift - feel free to ask me about it.

Day 316 - Lesson 315

All gifts my brothers give belong to me.

This lesson starts with this: Each day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.  I am blessed with gifts throughout the day, in value far beyond all things of which I can conceive. A brother smiles upon another, and my heart is gladdened....

This is so true.  When I just open my eyes and close my mouth - I see, feel, hear, and encounter so many gifts.

This has been an incredible week.  I've had the opportunity to experience gifts and blessings in more moments than I can count.

If I learned anything this week - and I learned a whole lot more than I ever expected (and I knew I was going to learn a lot)....but the biggest lesson is to keep an ever-expansive heart; to enjoy life, each and every precious moment of it.

Day 315 - Lesson 314

I seek a future different from the past.

This lesson complements so nicely virtually everything I've been studying this week....software of the soul.  When I take actions, I create memories, and then desires....upon which I take action, create memory, and desire....this is a cycle we live every day, every hour, every minute, every second. 

I do seek a future different, distinctly different, from the past.  As I have embraced a regular meditation practice, I find that I more readily and spontaneously make choices (take actions) that are more nurturing and nourishing to my body and my mind, which ultimately allows me to be in better touch with Spirit.  Each time I do this, I create a new memory and hence a new desire....and I make choices that are more life affirming.

I couldn't have explained software of the soul a few years ago, when this transformation all began; and it's probably not all that clear here....However, my life has begun blossom.  I am more open, less constricted, more expansive, and less afraid.  I choose to bring into my life those things that provide balance and I embrace uncertainty (mostly). 

My future is distinctly different from my past and will only continue to be thus....

Day 214 - Lesson 313

Now let a new perception come to me.

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache.  I was feverish and dreading trying to get through the day.  I had another oral test to take for my meditation certification.  I was worried about infecting the other 50+ people in the room.  However, I did make it through the day and I am feeling better.  I had an incredibly productive day - even though all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

This is another truly beautiful lesson - in part it says this:

Let us behold each other in the sight of Christ.  How beautiful we are!  How holy and how loving!

One of the greatest blessings of being here, in this program, is that I am surrounded by 50+ like-minded souls who are journeying on a similar spiritual path.  They provide amazing strength, support, guidance, and love.  I feel rejuvenated each time I am in one of these groups.

While I believe that everyone is on a spiritual path - whether they know it or believe it themselves - sometimes it feels necessary to be enveloped in a group of people all aligned with similar visions.  That's what makes this so nurturing....the similar visions, the unbounded knowingness that we are tapping into a collective expression of love and we are doing it consciously.

I am diggin' this perspective....

Day 313 - Lesson 312

I see all things as I would have them be.

This lesson starts by saying: Perception follows judgment....

Then it says: I have no purpose for today except to look upon a liberated world, set free from all judgments I have made.

I had to take an oral test today for my Primordial Sound Meditation teacher certification.  I really did my best to release all judgments and to trust that the information would arise from within as it needed to - and it did!  Instead of walking around with gloomy test anxiety - I trusted that I was well-prepared, I was meant to pass the test, and that the environment was filled with loving-support....all of that came true.

I set my intentions, I prepared, I perceived support, I let go, and I trusted that God, that Universe, that Source, that Love would provide the outcome meant for me.

This....is.....progress....

Day 312 - Lesson 311

I judge all things as I would have them be.

This was a good lesson for me today.  Today began the practical testing for Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  We conduct a practice presentation and then we are tested on a different presentation.  During the first round, there was one topic that I kept thinking to myself, "Ugh, I hope I don't have to present that - it's a hard one and I'm not completely confident that I can present it as well as I'd like."  Of course, you know what happened - yes, that's the one I had to present.  I was honest and up-front with the group and the teacher.  I added humor where I could, I explained my perspective of the lesson, and added that mystery is good....everyone laughed in the right places and supported me through my lack of confidence.  In the test round - I got the easiest possible presentation (as far as I'm concerned) and it was beautiful. 

This experience helped me make a paradigm shift today from judging negatively to allowing vulnerability and allowing people to support me. 

Day 311 - Lesson 310

In fearlessness and love I spend today.

Well, so I must admit, it was pretty easy to spend the day in fearlessness and love.  I was surrounded by close to 60 people - 52 of whom are in the same Primordial Meditation teacher training and the rest are affiliated as teachers and Chopra Center staff.  We basked, got lost, journeyed, and awakened in ancient vedantic philosophy.  In that kind of company, with that kind of material, spending the day in fear would have been impossible - well, I guess anything (literally) is possible....

I got back to my room just a bit ago and began working on catching up on things.  In particular, work emails and, "Oh my goodness, I'm buying a house" emails.  I must admit, a moment of fear stepped in.  The money, the commitment, it's in a different state (the house).  And then I settled back into the space of knowing that the universe will provide.  I have the money, it's a commitment I've been wanting to make for quite some time, it's in a location that I love....

Love - I'm all about embracing that and sending it out into the universe.

Day 310 - Lesson 309

I will not fear to look within today.

It's interesting that this would be the lesson today.  I was reflecting on all of the many changes that have been occurring in my life over the last few weeks - and wow - it could get very easy to be afraid.  Life is moving fast and I've made some decisions that will change my life in myriad ways.  This is all normal and natural - it's just that it can be overwhelming when so many things start happening all at once.  My Sunday gatherings, my radio spots, Primordial Sound Meditation Teacher Training, the purchase of a new house....I almost feel like I'm free falling and while I know there is a parachute that will deploy, I don't know when it will and I have no idea where I'll find myself when it does.  This isn't a bad thing.  The difficulty is in releasing my breath (figuratively) and trusting that the parachute will deploy exactly when it is meant to.  AND, importantly, there is nothing to fear inside myself.  I am a divine creation and God only wants my happiness.  I am here to help and to serve and that is exactly what I'm doing.  I must trust that when I look inside - it's all good, it's all good.

Day 309 - Lesson 308

This instant is the only time there is.

I sure did appreciate this lesson today.  As I left home to begin my travel journey to my Primordial Sound Meditation certification course....my plane left on time (almost).  I arrived at my next leg with plenty of time to spare and agreed to a counter offer to an offer I made on a house in another location.  I arrived at my next destination, but my bag didn't.  When it finally arrived almost two hours later, it was wet....I should know better than to travel with oil, but I just couldn't help myself.  I forgot to pack a brush and a comb.  Just as I was going to order a cup of tea to bring to my hotel room, the cafe closed.  However, in each moment, instead of getting angry and frustrated, I just allowed it to be whatever it was going to be.  I laughed in the face of adversity and chose to be okay with it. 

This is the only instant I have....and I am going to be fully present with a happy heart.

Day 308 - Lesson 307

Conflicting wishes cannot be my will.

And thank goodness for that!  I got busy and completely caught up in my hectic day - trying to get everything wrapped up before heading out of town in the morning - and I forgot about this lesson.  Which is a shame because it could have really helped me through my day.  I felt conflicted about even going on this trip much of the day.  I did continually ask for guidance and direction.  I don't know why, but I feel disconnected from my studies this go around...I just hope as I leave here I'll be able to focus on them without being pulled in so many other directions. 

As I settle down for the night, I am going to reconnect with this lesson.

Day 307 - Lesson 306

The gift of Christ is all I seek today.

This lesson tells me that I can forget the world I made - that I can instead see a world so like Heaven that an ancient memory returns to me.

I can tell you that my day was filled with helping others (something I like very much) and then preparing my guided meditation that is to be recorded next week.  The wind has been howling - 85 to 100 mph this evening.  As I was writing my guided meditation and hearing the gusts of wind I felt as if I was in an ancient place of memory.  My meditation is about the infinite gift of giving and much of it revolves around the blessings of the sun and the stars and the simple pleasures in life - like giggling.

For me heaven involves a lot of giggling....

Day 306 - Lesson 305

There is a peace that Christ bestows on us.

The meaning of this became completely apparent tonight as I was working on my presentations for my Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  I was reviewing the Seven States of Consciousness and the final one, Unified Consciousness helped me to better understand this lesson.  Unified Consciousness is where we experience being one with everything.  We don't lose our individuality but we realize, that at the level of Spirit, there is no separation. As we have this experience with greater regularity (along with the other states of consciousness) we see our desires are easily and spontaneously fulfilled.

Day 305 - Lesson 304

Let not my world obscure the sight of Christ.

I can obscure my holy sight, if I intrude my world upon it....Perception is a mirror, not a fact.

I really appreciate that line about perception being a mirror and not a fact.  It is so true.  It also says...And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.  I have been thinking a lot, too much, about my meditation practice.  Meditation is all about gentle silence and going inward and reducing the activity of the mind to enter a restful state of alertness.  I have been so caught up in feeling overwhelmed with too much work and not enough time for study that I've turned this certification process into a grind instead of letting go and appreciating it.  However, turning off 40+ years of programming is not easy.....the meditation helps for sure and all the ancient wisdom helps, too. I just need to remember that some worry and anxiety aren't going to just go away.  Well, I guess they could - like Dr. Wayne Dyer's miraculous healing of his knee - yes, St. Francis I would love the miracle of a photographic memory and the peace in my heart of knowing I will pass the Primordial Sound Meditation Certification course next week.

I know that my anxieties and worries are reflections of my perception of my own abilities.  I know that when I love myself without judgment - my world does not obscure the sight of Christ (of Love).  On that thought, I'm going to call it a night....

Day 304 - Lesson 303

The holy Christ is born in me today.

This is such a beautiful lesson and yet I just don't feel like anything I write today will do it any sort of justice at all.

My day has been one whirlwind after another and I'm feeling discombobulated. 

I keep asking myself if I'm really ready for my Primordial Sound Meditation certification course.  I don't feel particularly ready and yet I can't seem to conjure up the desire to cancel and re-book.  I keep thinking it will just come to me - that I shouldn't make it more difficult than it needs to be - that I've been awash in this ancient wisdom for quite some time now - it's there, I just need to be open to it.

I would really like to feel more like the holy Christ was born in me today....

Day 303 - Lesson 302

Where darkness was I look upon the light.

This finally felt like an illumined day for me.  I have been feeling buried and overwhelmed these past few weeks.  However, I felt a real sense of accomplishment today.

I completed figuring out and writing 15 radio spots for the next couple of weeks and I got them taped.  I completed one presentation for my next certification training - two to go.  I mostly have everything memorized that I'm supposed to have memorized.  I have no evening meetings this week (hooray!).  Aahhh, I have some breathing room....

The most beautifully illumined activity of my day was in spending time with a lovely group of souls - we acknowledged ancient wisdom, we meditated together, and we honored timeless vibrations deep within our souls.  Oh, and the sun shined upon us a few times today.

So much light, so much love!

Day 302 - Lesson 301

And God Himself shall wipe way all tears.

....God's world is happy.  Those who look on it can only add their joy to it, and bless it as a cause of further joy in them.  We wept because we did not understand.  But we have learned the world we saw was false, and we look upon God's world today.

If I have learned nothing else these past few years - it is that I can choose grievance or miracle; I can choose half-empty or half-full; I can choose to label and judge or I can choose uncertainty and limitless possibilities; I can choose to live in the past and the future or I can choose to be present in this moment - the only moment I have.  This isn't to say that I don't have tough days, stressful days, sad days....but it is to say that there is ever a beam of hopeful light within my heart and soul no matter what is occurring.  I know that I am more than this body and mind - these are only temporary and my spirit is everlasting.

I choose love over fear and my world is happy.

Day 301 - Lesson 300

Only an instant does this world endure.

Today it felt like things were piling up and I was just barely treading water.  I didn't complete my "To Do" list at work and I haven't completed it yet at home either.  I keep thinking about all I need to accomplish before I leave a week from tomorrow and it's hard not to feel overwhelmed.  Thank God I meditate or I'm sure I would be choosing a whole slew of bad habits to cope right now.  And certainly none of those things would make me feel better.  I know I was feeling some serious stress today because I had a rotten internal reaction to someone - my external reaction wasn't all that stellar either.  I even nearly bagged out on attending a going away gathering for someone I've grown to be quite fond of from work.  I decided that I would regret not attending and sharing my admiration for this person more than it would matter to me that I got a PowerPoint presentation completed or got my radio spots written.  It's just that I'm not entirely certain when I'm going to get those things done and that's frustrating. 

I know this all only lasts an instant - but I really do want to enjoy my time with each project.  I like to be busy, really busy - but I so appreciate moments to mull things over, to look at them and consider what's been done.  I don't seem to have that kind of time these last couple of weeks. 

I know the best thing I can do right this moment is to turn it over to the universe.  I have set my intentions, I continue to move in the direction of those intentions, and I just need to let go and allow the universe to work out the details....

Day 300 - Lesson 299

Eternal holiness abides in me.

This lesson begins with: My holiness is far beyond my own ability to understand or know.

While that line is so true, it is also and equally true that being open to all possibilities, releasing attachment to illusions, and establishing a regular meditation practice creates the path to higher states of consciousness.  When I listen with my heart to the ancient wisdom of spiritual texts and when I listen to the mystery of God I feel a sense of my own holiness.

I moderated a domestic violence awareness panel today and read the famous words of Lao Tzu about peace (There will be peace in the world when there is peace in the nations, there will be peace in the nations when there is peace in the cities.....etc. until - when there is peace in the heart).  I closed the session with those words.  I believe in these words - we will only evolve, truly evolve when we learn to love.  When we can hold peace in our hearts, we will act with peace, and we will see a less violent world.

I am so very thankful for all of the peace workers....their holiness is a shining beacon of light for our evolution.

Day 299 - Lesson 298

I love You, Father, and I love Your Son.

There are two lines in this lesson that I especially appreciate and held onto today -

My gratitude permits my love to be accepted without fear....And I draw near the end of senseless journeys, mad careers and artificial values.

I was reading Shankara's Crest-Jewel of Discrimination tonight and thought of this lesson.  Shankara explains that the only reality is our soul which is one with Source - we have our environment and our bodies and our minds, but it is all illusion - the only reality is our soul connected to Source.  He says, "A man is other than his shadow.  No matter what touches his shadow - hot or cold, good or bad - he remains completely untouched."  He also says, "The sun is reflected upon water.  Water moves, and the fool thinks that the sun is moving."  And so it is true of our souls - the soul is the only reality.  All the other stuff gets in the way and blinds us to the bliss awaiting us.  However, we have opportunities every single day, every single moment, to experience our connection to source. 

Day 298 - Lesson 297

Forgiveness is the only gift I give.

Today I was reminded that I was once in a great deal of pain.  I felt lost and irritable.  I wanted to blame others for the way I felt - because it was someone else's fault and 'when it wasn't' then I was just plain mad at myself for the choices I'd made.  I was reminded of this because as I was having a conversation with someone - he reminded me so much of myself before I let all that go.  I just wanted to reach out, hug him close, and let him know that all of the pain is completely unnecessary.  Sometimes it is so hard not to be an 'evangalist.' 

Today I am so thankful for my meditation practice.  I am totally getting it that it is that foundation that creates peace in my heart.  I am no longer focused on benchmarking success and happiness in external ways.  I am way less concerned about what other people are or are not doing.  I am much more inclined to be loving and compassionate and empathetic.

Meditation, deep breathing, being in tune with my rhythmic nature, being present and aware of nature - the turbulent autumn sky, the chattering and squawking of ravens, the crisp morning air - these are the blessings of a more peaceful existence.  And, of course, forgiveness.

Day 297 - Lesson 296

The Holy Spirit speaks through me today.

I was involved in a situation today in which there was little communication about expectations and there were major assumptions about 'who is responsible for what.'  I had an initial reaction of fear and irritation - mostly because I was worried that I would disappoint a group of people who were expecting a productive experience.  I took responsibility for it and made sure the materials were prepared, but due to a shortened time frame and not much communication about how the process was going to be handled - I had some anxiety about what was actually going to happen.  Then it dawned on me - "let go, the Holy Spirit speaks through me today."  The session went fine, everyone worked well together, the materials weren't fancy - but apparently they didn't need to be.  We accomplished our goal and everyone seemed to walk away feeling satisfied.

Each time I remember to let go and allow my actions to be guided by Source - things work out with a whole lot more ease and a whole lot less anxiety.

Day 296 - Lesson 295

The Holy Spirit looks through me today.

....and thus allow the Holy Spirit's Love to bless all things which I may look upon....

I was feeling out-of-sorts today.  I wasn't angry or upset.  I wasn't frustrated or cranky.  I just felt a little blue; I felt like things were just off, like I was out of rhythm for some reason.  However, as I plugged way at my day - working, doing laundry, preparing for the Sunday gathering, attending and facilitating the Sunday gathering, taping my radio spots, and working some more....my day gradually improved. Each activity, each step forward felt better and better.

So, even though I started out with that out-of-sorts feeling, I think it was definitely the Holy Spirit that comforted my heart and massaged my outlook into something more positive.  I trusted in that belief and allowed it into my awareness.  That expansion created the space for a brighter outlook. 

Day 295 - Lesson 294

My body is a wholly neutral thing.

I still struggle with this concept on an every day sort of level.  I get, intellectually, that my body is temporary and maybe even just be an illusion.  That it will go away one day and it is not me.  Releasing attachment to it is the hard part - menopause, weight gain, flabby arms, lines, and aches and pains....So, this lesson is a good and helpful reminder that it is neutral....I especially appreciate this part:

And yet a neutral thing does not see death, for thoughts of fear are not invested there, nor is a mockery of love bestowed upon it.  Its neutrality protects it while it has a use.

I had the extreme pleasure of attending a local coffee house event tonight.  The talented bodies there raised the roof on Source - original music by a beautiful mix of folks, youthful talent on horns of all sorts, poets of the highest caliber, piano, and dance, and communion with Spirit through voice.  I so appreciate that God gave us the ability to express holiness through our bodies - it is an expression that touches my heart and my soul.

Day 294 - Lesson 293

All fear is past and only love is here.

This lesson includes this lovely prayer:

Father, let not Your holy world escape my sight today.  Nor let my ears be deaf to all the hymns of gratitude the world is singing underneath the sounds of fear.  There is a real world which the present holds safe from all past mistakes.  And I would see only this world before my eyes today.

This is such a terrific reminder that life is all about choice.  We can identify with all that's negative and that's what we see or we can identify with all that's positive and that's what we see.  When we identify with the positive, it's not that we are blind to things that aren't right - it's that we are able to experience all of the good without being attached to the stuff that's wrong.  Each step we take towards living in the present moment and living more consciously the healthier the world becomes.

Embrace love and replace fear.

Day 293 - Lesson 292

A happy outcome to all things is sure.

This lesson focuses on how we perceive problems and make our lives complicated - and yet our happiness is secure - we need only allow it.

I attended a poetry workshop tonight.  I haven't written anything in a long while, I have all this philosophy roaming around inside my head, my life is amazing and wonderful and busier than it's ever been....I feel some lost or maybe it's just that I am truly embracing uncertainty?  Anyway, at the workshop we were assigned a powerful exercise.  We were asked to write down all the many names we've been called throughout our lives and then develop that further - where the names originated, what they mean to us - that sort of thing.  I really enjoyed this exercise.  I liked the process and it took me to a different place.  It took me out of my studies and opened up new thoughts and new awareness.

The bonus to all this is I came across a poem (thanks to attending the workshop) that sums up (for me) so much of the philosophy I've been studying -

Little Cosmic Dust Poem (1983) John Haines

Out of the debris of dying stars, this rain of particles that waters the waste with brightness... The sea-wave of atoms hurrying home, collapse of the giant, unstable guest who cannot stay... The sun's heart reddens and expands, his mighty aspiration is lasting, as the shell of his substance one day will be white with frost.  In the radiant field of Orion great hordes of stars are forming, just as we see every night, fiery and faithful to the end.  Out of the cold and fleeing dust that is never and always, the silence and waste to come... This arm, this hand, my voice, your face, this love.

So, speaking of powerful...and a happy outcome to all things is sure.

Day 292 - Lesson 291

This is a day of stillness and of peace.

This lesson includes two celebratory exclamations:

1. What loveliness we look upon today!
2. What holiness we see surrounding us!

These kinds of daily reminders are so healthy for me.  They provide a positive 'wake-up' perspective and remind me to start my day off on the 'right foot.'  It's good for me to wake up and read these lessons, meditate, and conduct the rest of my morning routine, and then revisit the lessons a few times each day.  I get something new from the lessons each time I read them.

Today I dealt with a couple of 'head-scratchers' and this lesson really helped me to let go of any personal attachment to them.  It's also the day I honor the Law of Least Effort - so it was a combined reinforcement not to take things personally and to allow solutions to emerge without force.  I so appreciate this perspective because my automatic response can be harsh and impatient.  However, these lessons remind me to pause and breathe - and that helps me to be less reactive.

In addition, I get to look upon the mountains, the ocean, hear the sea lions barking, giggle with two of the most delightful little snuggle buddies on the planet....every single day....and what loveliness!  What holiness!  It is these simple pleasures that put life in real perspective - the true perspective of love.

Day 291 - Lesson 290

My present happiness is all I see.

I appreciate this lesson because it reinforces the fact that once I became aware of truth, of right action, of pure potentiality, I could no longer continue the illusion of running from myself.  I could no longer mask my feelings, my fleeing responses, without seeing their negative impacts; in that, you can run and you can try to hide, but eventually it is laid bare.  I can make that experience whatever I want to make it.

Even though I have a pile (several piles, actually) of work, a pile of study, a pile of prep to do....my present happiness is all I see.  Everything is getting done and life is good.  My old response would have been to worry and fret and become aggravated because I was interrupted and couldn't get things done in the time frame I had established.  I more fully recognize now that life happens and I can't predict the myriad ways things will unfold.  My acceptance of that and my release of rigid expectations makes feeling happiness that much more readily available.

Today's lesson's prayer ends with this:

What I ask have You already given me.  And I am sure that I will see my happiness today.

And, indeed, I have.

Day 290 - Lesson 289

The past is over.  It can touch me not.

I love this particular line - Unless the past is over in my mind, the real world must escape my sight.

I used to spend a lot of time in the past.  Mulling it over in my mind, replaying it over and over.  I used to torture myself with coulda, shoulda, woulda...

I also, frankly, spent a fair amount of time in the future.  Not that I have ever been particularly good at visualizing that, but I would daydream about all sorts of future events without doing much by way of planning.

There is nothing easy about staying in present moment awareness - not at first anyway.  However, like most things, the more I actively practice it the better I get at it.  It is truly rewarding, too!  I pay better attention and I am much more appreciative of the gifts of the time I get to spend with people - really listening to them, really looking at them, really making them aware that I love them.

There is nothing I can do about the past.  There is nothing I can do about the mistakes I've made.  In each moment, in this very moment, I can be a better version of me than I was before this moment and I'd like to be the best version of me possible.

Day 289 - Lesson 288

Let me forget my brother's past today.

My past, my brother's past - this lesson says, in part:

Forgive me, then, today.  And you will know you have forgiven me if you behold your brother in the light of holiness.  He cannot be less holy than I, and you can not be holier than he.

This lesson resonated with me in such a beautiful way today.  I led a Sunday gathering of incredible souls in honoring the Law of Pure Potentiality (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, by Deepak Chopra) and in an active meditation.  This gathering reinforces this lesson and is, for me, a cherished representation of a group of like-minded individuals folding into the divine energy-field and embracing love.

To top it off, we were gifted with an autumn day filled with sparkly sunshine, calm sweet air, a herd of barking sea lions, and the waves and smiles and well-wishes of all those crossing our path.

Yes, this lesson resonated beautifully today....

Day 288 - Lesson 287

You are my goal, my Father.  Only You.

Today I focus a lot on asking what is my dharma?  What is my purpose in life?  I do this every Saturday (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra).  I took a long and wonderful hike with the beagle and one of the most beautiful souls on the planet.  We talked a lot about how best to incorporate all of the best life has to offer in our lives and shared ideas about how we can collaborate to invite that into our lives. 

Whatever happens....however we collaborate, however we recognize and acknowledge and invite into our lives all the best that life has to offer....it all comes back to God, Spirit, Love....A life of focus towards that is what brings peace and happiness - and that is my goal.

Day 287 - Lesson 286

The hush of Heaven holds my heart today.

The stillness of today will give us hope that we have found the way, and travelled far along it to a wholly certain goal.

Every day I think about my goal - to know God.  This thought is never very far from my mind and my heart.  Sometimes I don't want to do anything but sit and ponder, think, mull, pray, meditate, embrace the God energy surrounding me. 

Tonight I was watching the waves crash upon the shore and the seagulls and loons and ducks all so still upon and around the unsettled water.  The miracle of our existence.  In that moment, I felt the hush of heaven.

No matter how unsettled things seem to be around us, and even through our connection to our unsettled environment, we can still feel the hush of heaven and recognize the miracle of our existence....and we can be thankful and joyful for it all.

Day 286 - Lesson 285

My holiness shines bright and clear today.

Today I wake with joy, expecting but the happy things of God to come to me.

I love this lesson.  There is a CD of daily affirmations by Deepak Chopra that I often listen to, in the mornings while I'm getting ready for work.  One of them includes this: "God, please shower unknown blessings upon me."  Like the theme of this lesson, that line always puts a smile on my face and ups the feelings of joy in my heart.

We are so trained to suffer - we are made to believe that we can't be happy and feel satisfied without sacrifice.  In fact, we should feel guilty for being joyful.  How crazy is that?  Life is so much more manageable with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.  I haven't read anything from the great spiritual masters that indicates God wants anything less than for me to feel happy.  Much of what I've read indicates that, according to God, my purpose in life is to be happy. 

So, I'm sticking with that.  And, when things get tough or confusing or frustrating or sad, I'm going to take a few extra moments to invite God into my heart and heal me.  I am going to trust that everything is exactly as it is meant to be - I may not always (and quite often I don't) understand it, but whatever is happening, I am not prevented from loving and experiencing miracles.

Day 285 - Lesson 284

I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.

This lesson also says:

Father, what You have given cannot hurt, so grief and pain must be impossible.  Let me not fail to trust in You today, accepting but the joyous as Your gifts; accepting but the joyous as the truth.

This was definitely a good lesson to reflect upon - along with The Law of Least Effort.  It also reminded me of Marianne Williamson talking about how we aren't truly fearful of what we can't do - we are much more fearful of realizing what we can do and what we are capable of....

We are going to feel some pain and sadness in our lives, but if we place our trust in Love and make our decisions based on what Love would do - we are much better situated for releasing illusions.  When we embrace pure potentiality and operate on the God energy of the universe, we live life on a plane beyond attachment, expectation, and loss.  We become open to all that is possible.

Who would have thought a couple of years ago that I would be completely good with talking about and supporting God - that I would be pursuing a life as a vessel of Spirit - that I would be a Perfect Health / Ayurveda instructor, that I would be working towards certification as Primordial Sound Meditation Instructor - that I would be leading a spiritual based gathering once per week - that I would be starting a radio gig....I couldn't have predicted these wonderful turn of events.

May my heart continue to grow more open to all that is possible.