Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Day 324 - Lesson 323

I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.

I'm glad this was the lesson today - it was, as it so often is, fortuitous because as I was busy writing my radio spots for this week, I found myself drifting off into worry.  I was worrying about all the things I needed to do at work this week and I also thought of something I hadn't done before I left for my recent trip.  This is something that should have been done and I completely forgot about it, until today!  I could feel that old anxiety twisting around my heart and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach....and then I remembered this lesson.  I realized there is nothing to fear.  I simply need to own up to what I forgot and make it right, or at least make it as right as I can. 

This is such a beautiful thought to keep in the forefront of my mind:

And as we pay the debt we owe to truth,  - a debt that merely is the letting go of self-deceptions and of images we worshipped falsely - truth returns to us in wholeness and in joy.  we are deceived no longer.  Love has now returned to our awareness.  And we are at peace again, for fear has gone and only love remains.

I could continue to wallow around in fear and feel all sorts of awful about having forgotten this thing - but what would the gain be?  For anyone?  No one would gain from me feeling that way.  After all, I didn't intentionally forget this thing.  I didn't purposefully not do it out of some sort of malicious intent.  I feel badly that it didn't get done and I will do all I can to make it right as soon as I am able to do that - which is tomorrow.

Yes, I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.
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