Day 334 - Lesson 333

Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here.

This lesson addresses the ultimate importance of shining the light of truth on conflict - to forgive it to resolve it.  We must release our defenses in order to resolve it.  This happens pretty readily as we stop taking things personally.  It is amazing to me how when I take a step back and take a deep breath in, when I'm starting to feel like I need to defend something - when I just allow the space to be there - when I allow someone to vent without taking it on; just respectfully listen - I am set free. It definitely takes practice and conscious awareness, but when it happens it is such a beautiful release.  You'll want to experience it again and again.  I know I do.

Day 333 - Lesson 332

Fear binds the world.  Forgiveness sets it free.

This lesson starts out by saying:

The ego makes illusions.  Truth undoes its evil dreams by shining them away.  Truth never makes attack.  It merely is.  And by its presence is the mind recalled from fantasies, awaking to the real.

It goes on to say much more and makes so much sense.  In fact, it dawned on me today as I was getting frustrated with a decision that hadn't been made.  A decision I was waiting on so I could make a decision.  I was actually starting to feel some anger and frustration that I realized I was holding onto.  I cursed, clenched my jaw, I was thinking, "Grrr (well, insert curse word), this is really ticking me off - this needs to happen so I can make my arrangements."  This is when the light went on....there was no one to be angry with, everything is going to work out, maybe not in exactly the way I had mapped out and maybe not in exactly the time line I had planned, but it is all going to work.  I made my arrangements, made plans given the information we have, and worked with all interested parties towards the common goal.  Aahhh, yep, that felt so much better.  Like a weight taken off my chest.

Once I released my, my, my, me, me, me and focused on the common goal things began to fall into place. While I was constricted with frustration (insert fear) I couldn't see how things were going to work out.

Release fear - forgive and be set free.

Day 332 - Lesson 331

There is no conflict, for my will is Yours.

Some days just feel like a blur....like everything is slightly out of focus.  I'd like to think this feeling is a higher state of consciousness - that is about to come into focus, but it must not be, since it doesn't make any sense to me.  Yeah, that was rather flippant.  It was a fine day overall.  I got a lot accomplished.  I always appreciate that.

This lesson continues to reinforce the oneness and wholeness of Source.  And my connection to Source in all things.  There is no reason to fear or feel conflict because all there really is is the Will of Love.

I am understanding my intentions and the direction God seems to be sending me more clearly.  I have released the need to control the journey and I'm learning to let go of a few lingering anxieties.  What a blessing this adventure is.

Day 331 - Lesson 330

I will not hurt myself again today.

This lesson starts by saying:

Let us this day accept forgiveness as our only function.  Why should we attack our minds, and given them images of pain?

My day has seemed to revolve around reminders of: my life's purpose.  Maybe I'm focused too much on this question.  I am so loving being an instructor of Primordial Sound Meditation and Perfect Health / Ayurveda.  I love facilitating the Sunday Gatherings (we recognize the Law of Pure Potentiality and experience an active meditation).  I love preparing and recording my radio spots that run each week.  I want these opportunities to continue to evolve and grow and expand into the way I make a living.

My journey has led me to this new level of awareness and now I just want to embrace it with my whole being.  It's challenging to focus on my bread and butter job - not that I don't appreciate it, I do!  However, I feel so ready to move on and yet I don't know what that means?

I will give it up to the universe, to Source, to Love....the answers will come, the outcomes will spontaneously emerge without my interference.  I leave it to Source - the best possible caretaker of my evolution.

Day 330 - Lesson 329

I have already chosen what You will.

And I am safe, untroubled and serene, in endless joy, because it is Your Will that it be so.

I can say that for the first time in my life this is absolutely true.  I am no longer consumed with worry and anxiety.  Instead, my heart is warmly pulsing with love and joy and I know that, whatever happens, I am safe.  I have no idea what tomorrow or even the next five minutes has in store for me, but I know that as long as I trust in Source I have nothing to fear.  I am loved.  I belong.  Me being here is no accident and my only purpose is to be happy.  Therefore, I choose those things in my life that encourage happy.  When challenges or perceived obstacles arise, I trust that there is a reason.  Often it is in our darkest hours that we are propelled to our brightest experiences.

Day 329 - Lesson 328

I choose the second place to gain the first.

This lesson talks about how we so readily believe what our minds, our egos, tell us.  However, when we listen to the Voice for God, things begin to fall into place so much more easily.  Since we don't always put listening to the voice of God first, we do it second, hence the lesson....

This lesson also says:

It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God's creation is the way in which salvation is obtained.  Yet all we find is sickness, suffering and loss and death.  This is not what our Father wills for us, nor is there any second to His Will.  To join with His is but to find our own.

I wake up each day asking how I may be a vessel of Spirit.  This practice has deepened my understanding of this lesson and opened my heart to far greater possibilities than I could have ever imagined.  I'm not always immediately remembering to listen to the Voice of God, but the more I do, the more I look forward to hearing it.

Day 328 - Lesson 327

I need but call and You will answer me.

There was a time when I didn't believe in this at all.  It didn't seem possible and it didn't seem plausible.  However, once I started making choices that opened my heart and my mind - my eyes were opened to seeing and my ears were opened to hearing the answers provided by God energy.  The more I began to love myself and treat myself with respect and care, the easier I found my way to the field of holy energy that is everywhere.  When I added meditation to my daily practices, I found I was listening to God's voice.  Now I believe.

Day 327 - Lesson 326

I am forever an Effect of God.

With this thought held firmly in my heart, I can only express awe at the reality of it.  How amazing that I am an Effect of God.  Seems such a shame to fear or feel anxiety because when I embrace my own holiness, fears and anxieties fade away.  Being in touch and remaining centered in the field of God energy is tricky when you're human.  It is fairly easy to get caught up in day-to-day routine, to get mired down in the past, and to daydream about the future.  However, keeping this thought firmly in my heart will help me to, more often, cherish this present moment and to be thankful for what it is - the only moment I have in this form.

Day 326 - Lesson 325

All things I think I see reflect ideas.

Today I watched as the snow fell.  It caught my attention and I couldn't stop looking at it.  I thought about how each snowflake is unique - that no two snowflakes are exactly alike.  Much like humans, we are all unique and no two of us are exactly the same.  I was mesmerized and felt completely connected to each flake of falling snow.  I felt a touch of sadness when it stopped snowing.  The beauty of this moment was in feeling how miraculous it is that we are all connected to the same energy source - that my personal body is connected to my environment, and my breath is connected to my mind, and my mind is connected to my soul, and it all melds into one all-connecting energy field.

Day 325 - Lesson 324

I merely follow, for I would not lead.

This lesson made me reflect on the past couple of years and how different they have been in comparison to all the many prior.  I remember feeling lost and, yet, "in charge" of my life.  Now, even though I may not know the exact direction I'm going, I don't feel lost.  I trust that when I ask the soul questions - "What is my dharma?  What is my purpose in my life?" and as I list my intentions and reflect upon them prior to meditation, that I release the need to "be in charge" and I honor the higher power, the field of energy, that directs my life without me complicating things.  I trust that the universe is on my side.

Day 324 - Lesson 323

I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.

I'm glad this was the lesson today - it was, as it so often is, fortuitous because as I was busy writing my radio spots for this week, I found myself drifting off into worry.  I was worrying about all the things I needed to do at work this week and I also thought of something I hadn't done before I left for my recent trip.  This is something that should have been done and I completely forgot about it, until today!  I could feel that old anxiety twisting around my heart and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach....and then I remembered this lesson.  I realized there is nothing to fear.  I simply need to own up to what I forgot and make it right, or at least make it as right as I can. 

This is such a beautiful thought to keep in the forefront of my mind:

And as we pay the debt we owe to truth,  - a debt that merely is the letting go of self-deceptions and of images we worshipped falsely - truth returns to us in wholeness and in joy.  we are deceived no longer.  Love has now returned to our awareness.  And we are at peace again, for fear has gone and only love remains.

I could continue to wallow around in fear and feel all sorts of awful about having forgotten this thing - but what would the gain be?  For anyone?  No one would gain from me feeling that way.  After all, I didn't intentionally forget this thing.  I didn't purposefully not do it out of some sort of malicious intent.  I feel badly that it didn't get done and I will do all I can to make it right as soon as I am able to do that - which is tomorrow.

Yes, I gladly make the "sacrifice" of fear.

Day 323 - Lesson 322

I can give up but what was never real.

This lesson makes a couple of key points for me:

• I sacrifice illusions; nothing more.
• What loss can I anticipate except the loss of fear, and the return of love into my mind.

I was writing my radio spots for recording tomorrow.  I wrote the first day without any trouble.  However, as I got busy writing the next day and thinking about the days that would follow, I started to worry that everything I needed to talk about included the importance of Spirit.  The theme this week is intentions, and when we set intentions and we give up the outcome to Spirit or Source without attachment, we set in motion an open path to achievement.  My struggle, as I was thinking about it, was how this message would be perceived - would I alienate people?  How would traditional Christians feel about this message?  How would atheists feel?  I was reminded that as long as my message is given with love, people will most likely perceive it positively and that I shouldn't worry about it beyond that.  This lesson reinforced that reminder for me.

Love, Spirit, Source - that is what's real.

Day 322 - Lesson 321

Father, my freedom is in You alone.

This lesson is about recognizing that when I try to force solutions and predict the future I find myself mired down in confusion and frustration.  At least, this is how I am interpreting it.  It wasn't until I released my need to try to control everything that I began to experience a sense of freedom.  When I began to be instead of do.  When I opened my heart to love and pure potential I began to breathe easier.  It has taken a long time for me to grasp a basic understanding of detachment and in being okay with uncertainty.  I am starting to understand that freedom is when I don't take things personally and it's when I allow people and situations to be as they are without defending my point of view or having rigid expectations.

The more I release my heart and my awareness to love and to pure potential the less constricted I feel and the more the universe (the whole great big wild and wonderful universe) opens up to me.....Aahhh, yes - the Law of Giving and Receiving.....

Day 321 - Lesson 320

My Father gives all power unto me.

This lesson reminds me that it is always in my power to choose either - miracle or grievance.  This is true in every single circumstance.  I choose whether or not to be happy or, as one of my most dear friend's says, "a long time mad."  How I approach and respond to life is all in my power.

I choose happy and I choose miracle and I choose love.

Day 320 - Lesson 319

I came for the salvation of the world.

I really only have one thing to say about this and it's been coming up a lot the past several days - it seems to come up at least once per day - that I am reminded that Jesus said, "I am not in the world, the world is in me."  I honestly don't know from which gospel this is from and a quick search on line didn't produce it.  However, I have heard this several times from many credible resources. 

The thing is - salvation of the world is my own salvation.  I understand this better and better all the time - especially when I give myself permission to just, "shut up."  And I mean this genuinely.  When I close my mouth and listen without worrying about exhibiting my own opinion - my whole world opens up.

Day 319 - Lesson 318

In me salvation's means and end are one.

The most powerful sentence in this lesson for me is this:

"I was created as the thing I seek."

There's just no reason to neglect or forget that I am divine and yet that's exactly what I've done - it's what most of us do.  I am, however, making my way back to discovering my divine nature.  The journey is fascinating and the more open I am to just being and just loving the path becomes so much more clear.

Day 318 - Lesson 317

I follow in the way appointed me.

The way appointed me today is one of flying across the country. This lesson talks about our special talents and roles. Our divine purpose. I am very actively seeking guidance and remaining open to the directions provided by the universe. Ask the soul questions; live the answers.

Day 317 - Lesson 316

All gifts I give my brothers are my own.

I spent a week of active gift-giving-receiving during this tremendous time in Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  Each day was filled with the highs and lows of an emotional journey in recognizing that we are divine beings.  I am thankful beyond words for this experience.  I am looking forward to sharing the beauty and comfort of this practice.  If it was appropriate to be a 'Primordial Sound Meditation Evangalist' - well, I'd be all over it.  However, I recognize the ultimate importance of letting my light shine without 'preachin' anything.

It is such a gift - feel free to ask me about it.

Day 316 - Lesson 315

All gifts my brothers give belong to me.

This lesson starts with this: Each day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.  I am blessed with gifts throughout the day, in value far beyond all things of which I can conceive. A brother smiles upon another, and my heart is gladdened....

This is so true.  When I just open my eyes and close my mouth - I see, feel, hear, and encounter so many gifts.

This has been an incredible week.  I've had the opportunity to experience gifts and blessings in more moments than I can count.

If I learned anything this week - and I learned a whole lot more than I ever expected (and I knew I was going to learn a lot)....but the biggest lesson is to keep an ever-expansive heart; to enjoy life, each and every precious moment of it.

Day 315 - Lesson 314

I seek a future different from the past.

This lesson complements so nicely virtually everything I've been studying this week....software of the soul.  When I take actions, I create memories, and then desires....upon which I take action, create memory, and desire....this is a cycle we live every day, every hour, every minute, every second. 

I do seek a future different, distinctly different, from the past.  As I have embraced a regular meditation practice, I find that I more readily and spontaneously make choices (take actions) that are more nurturing and nourishing to my body and my mind, which ultimately allows me to be in better touch with Spirit.  Each time I do this, I create a new memory and hence a new desire....and I make choices that are more life affirming.

I couldn't have explained software of the soul a few years ago, when this transformation all began; and it's probably not all that clear here....However, my life has begun blossom.  I am more open, less constricted, more expansive, and less afraid.  I choose to bring into my life those things that provide balance and I embrace uncertainty (mostly). 

My future is distinctly different from my past and will only continue to be thus....

Day 214 - Lesson 313

Now let a new perception come to me.

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache.  I was feverish and dreading trying to get through the day.  I had another oral test to take for my meditation certification.  I was worried about infecting the other 50+ people in the room.  However, I did make it through the day and I am feeling better.  I had an incredibly productive day - even though all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

This is another truly beautiful lesson - in part it says this:

Let us behold each other in the sight of Christ.  How beautiful we are!  How holy and how loving!

One of the greatest blessings of being here, in this program, is that I am surrounded by 50+ like-minded souls who are journeying on a similar spiritual path.  They provide amazing strength, support, guidance, and love.  I feel rejuvenated each time I am in one of these groups.

While I believe that everyone is on a spiritual path - whether they know it or believe it themselves - sometimes it feels necessary to be enveloped in a group of people all aligned with similar visions.  That's what makes this so nurturing....the similar visions, the unbounded knowingness that we are tapping into a collective expression of love and we are doing it consciously.

I am diggin' this perspective....

Day 313 - Lesson 312

I see all things as I would have them be.

This lesson starts by saying: Perception follows judgment....

Then it says: I have no purpose for today except to look upon a liberated world, set free from all judgments I have made.

I had to take an oral test today for my Primordial Sound Meditation teacher certification.  I really did my best to release all judgments and to trust that the information would arise from within as it needed to - and it did!  Instead of walking around with gloomy test anxiety - I trusted that I was well-prepared, I was meant to pass the test, and that the environment was filled with loving-support....all of that came true.

I set my intentions, I prepared, I perceived support, I let go, and I trusted that God, that Universe, that Source, that Love would provide the outcome meant for me.

This....is.....progress....

Day 312 - Lesson 311

I judge all things as I would have them be.

This was a good lesson for me today.  Today began the practical testing for Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  We conduct a practice presentation and then we are tested on a different presentation.  During the first round, there was one topic that I kept thinking to myself, "Ugh, I hope I don't have to present that - it's a hard one and I'm not completely confident that I can present it as well as I'd like."  Of course, you know what happened - yes, that's the one I had to present.  I was honest and up-front with the group and the teacher.  I added humor where I could, I explained my perspective of the lesson, and added that mystery is good....everyone laughed in the right places and supported me through my lack of confidence.  In the test round - I got the easiest possible presentation (as far as I'm concerned) and it was beautiful. 

This experience helped me make a paradigm shift today from judging negatively to allowing vulnerability and allowing people to support me. 

Day 311 - Lesson 310

In fearlessness and love I spend today.

Well, so I must admit, it was pretty easy to spend the day in fearlessness and love.  I was surrounded by close to 60 people - 52 of whom are in the same Primordial Meditation teacher training and the rest are affiliated as teachers and Chopra Center staff.  We basked, got lost, journeyed, and awakened in ancient vedantic philosophy.  In that kind of company, with that kind of material, spending the day in fear would have been impossible - well, I guess anything (literally) is possible....

I got back to my room just a bit ago and began working on catching up on things.  In particular, work emails and, "Oh my goodness, I'm buying a house" emails.  I must admit, a moment of fear stepped in.  The money, the commitment, it's in a different state (the house).  And then I settled back into the space of knowing that the universe will provide.  I have the money, it's a commitment I've been wanting to make for quite some time, it's in a location that I love....

Love - I'm all about embracing that and sending it out into the universe.

Day 310 - Lesson 309

I will not fear to look within today.

It's interesting that this would be the lesson today.  I was reflecting on all of the many changes that have been occurring in my life over the last few weeks - and wow - it could get very easy to be afraid.  Life is moving fast and I've made some decisions that will change my life in myriad ways.  This is all normal and natural - it's just that it can be overwhelming when so many things start happening all at once.  My Sunday gatherings, my radio spots, Primordial Sound Meditation Teacher Training, the purchase of a new house....I almost feel like I'm free falling and while I know there is a parachute that will deploy, I don't know when it will and I have no idea where I'll find myself when it does.  This isn't a bad thing.  The difficulty is in releasing my breath (figuratively) and trusting that the parachute will deploy exactly when it is meant to.  AND, importantly, there is nothing to fear inside myself.  I am a divine creation and God only wants my happiness.  I am here to help and to serve and that is exactly what I'm doing.  I must trust that when I look inside - it's all good, it's all good.

Day 309 - Lesson 308

This instant is the only time there is.

I sure did appreciate this lesson today.  As I left home to begin my travel journey to my Primordial Sound Meditation certification course....my plane left on time (almost).  I arrived at my next leg with plenty of time to spare and agreed to a counter offer to an offer I made on a house in another location.  I arrived at my next destination, but my bag didn't.  When it finally arrived almost two hours later, it was wet....I should know better than to travel with oil, but I just couldn't help myself.  I forgot to pack a brush and a comb.  Just as I was going to order a cup of tea to bring to my hotel room, the cafe closed.  However, in each moment, instead of getting angry and frustrated, I just allowed it to be whatever it was going to be.  I laughed in the face of adversity and chose to be okay with it. 

This is the only instant I have....and I am going to be fully present with a happy heart.

Day 308 - Lesson 307

Conflicting wishes cannot be my will.

And thank goodness for that!  I got busy and completely caught up in my hectic day - trying to get everything wrapped up before heading out of town in the morning - and I forgot about this lesson.  Which is a shame because it could have really helped me through my day.  I felt conflicted about even going on this trip much of the day.  I did continually ask for guidance and direction.  I don't know why, but I feel disconnected from my studies this go around...I just hope as I leave here I'll be able to focus on them without being pulled in so many other directions. 

As I settle down for the night, I am going to reconnect with this lesson.

Day 307 - Lesson 306

The gift of Christ is all I seek today.

This lesson tells me that I can forget the world I made - that I can instead see a world so like Heaven that an ancient memory returns to me.

I can tell you that my day was filled with helping others (something I like very much) and then preparing my guided meditation that is to be recorded next week.  The wind has been howling - 85 to 100 mph this evening.  As I was writing my guided meditation and hearing the gusts of wind I felt as if I was in an ancient place of memory.  My meditation is about the infinite gift of giving and much of it revolves around the blessings of the sun and the stars and the simple pleasures in life - like giggling.

For me heaven involves a lot of giggling....

Day 306 - Lesson 305

There is a peace that Christ bestows on us.

The meaning of this became completely apparent tonight as I was working on my presentations for my Primordial Sound Meditation teacher training.  I was reviewing the Seven States of Consciousness and the final one, Unified Consciousness helped me to better understand this lesson.  Unified Consciousness is where we experience being one with everything.  We don't lose our individuality but we realize, that at the level of Spirit, there is no separation. As we have this experience with greater regularity (along with the other states of consciousness) we see our desires are easily and spontaneously fulfilled.

Day 305 - Lesson 304

Let not my world obscure the sight of Christ.

I can obscure my holy sight, if I intrude my world upon it....Perception is a mirror, not a fact.

I really appreciate that line about perception being a mirror and not a fact.  It is so true.  It also says...And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.  I have been thinking a lot, too much, about my meditation practice.  Meditation is all about gentle silence and going inward and reducing the activity of the mind to enter a restful state of alertness.  I have been so caught up in feeling overwhelmed with too much work and not enough time for study that I've turned this certification process into a grind instead of letting go and appreciating it.  However, turning off 40+ years of programming is not easy.....the meditation helps for sure and all the ancient wisdom helps, too. I just need to remember that some worry and anxiety aren't going to just go away.  Well, I guess they could - like Dr. Wayne Dyer's miraculous healing of his knee - yes, St. Francis I would love the miracle of a photographic memory and the peace in my heart of knowing I will pass the Primordial Sound Meditation Certification course next week.

I know that my anxieties and worries are reflections of my perception of my own abilities.  I know that when I love myself without judgment - my world does not obscure the sight of Christ (of Love).  On that thought, I'm going to call it a night....