Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 298 - Lesson 297

Forgiveness is the only gift I give.

Today I was reminded that I was once in a great deal of pain.  I felt lost and irritable.  I wanted to blame others for the way I felt - because it was someone else's fault and 'when it wasn't' then I was just plain mad at myself for the choices I'd made.  I was reminded of this because as I was having a conversation with someone - he reminded me so much of myself before I let all that go.  I just wanted to reach out, hug him close, and let him know that all of the pain is completely unnecessary.  Sometimes it is so hard not to be an 'evangalist.' 

Today I am so thankful for my meditation practice.  I am totally getting it that it is that foundation that creates peace in my heart.  I am no longer focused on benchmarking success and happiness in external ways.  I am way less concerned about what other people are or are not doing.  I am much more inclined to be loving and compassionate and empathetic.

Meditation, deep breathing, being in tune with my rhythmic nature, being present and aware of nature - the turbulent autumn sky, the chattering and squawking of ravens, the crisp morning air - these are the blessings of a more peaceful existence.  And, of course, forgiveness.
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