Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Day 275 - Lesson 274

Today belongs to love.  Let me not fear.

I must remember that this lesson, this advice, is as true for me as it is for anyone else.  If someone would have come to me today and said, "I feel stressed to the point of crying and giving up on _______."  I would have counseled them in this lesson.  I would have reassured them that they are safe in the universe, they are loved, and there is really nothing to fear.  I would have worked with them on some strategies to feel less overwhelmed, to lighten up, and to laugh.

Instead of giving this advice to myself, I sank into the depths of stress and fear and allowed those old feelings of failure to arise in me.  I cried, I felt overwhelmed, I told myself I should be more this and more that.  I told myself I wasn't a very good example of all of the lessons, studying, practicing, and training I have so diligently pursued.

It wasn't until just a short time ago that I remembered this lesson, that I gave myself some room to breathe, and this also helped:

The ideal of the Upanishads is to live in the world in full awareness of life's unity, giving and enjoying, participating in others' sorrow and joys, but never unaware even for a moment that the world comes from God and returns to God.

I don't feel great, but I do feel better....
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