Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day 284 - Lesson 283

My true identity abides in You.

And so we offer blessing to all things, uniting lovingly with all the world, which our forgiveness has made one with us.

The back and forth of self-referral and object-referral seems to be an ongoing process.  I would like to be in a place where I am able to completely trust this wisdom (of self-referral) and not revert back to ego-fears; but I find that I do occasionally revert in moments when certain old fears pop up - when I am unsure of myself or afraid of making the wrong decision.  These situations occur with less frequency now, but they do tap my shoulder every now and then.  I find that when I feel inner-constriction and I try to hurry through something - my breathing gets faster and more shallow - I don't make decisions well.  However, when I recognize that and I stop, take a few deep breaths, ask myself, "what would love do in this moment?" and I slow down - then I make decisions from a healthier point of reference.  Then I recognize that it doesn't really matter what's going on around me and I have nothing to fear. 

My true identity is that of love (and laughter)....
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