Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Friday, October 28, 2011

Day 301 - Lesson 300

Only an instant does this world endure.

Today it felt like things were piling up and I was just barely treading water.  I didn't complete my "To Do" list at work and I haven't completed it yet at home either.  I keep thinking about all I need to accomplish before I leave a week from tomorrow and it's hard not to feel overwhelmed.  Thank God I meditate or I'm sure I would be choosing a whole slew of bad habits to cope right now.  And certainly none of those things would make me feel better.  I know I was feeling some serious stress today because I had a rotten internal reaction to someone - my external reaction wasn't all that stellar either.  I even nearly bagged out on attending a going away gathering for someone I've grown to be quite fond of from work.  I decided that I would regret not attending and sharing my admiration for this person more than it would matter to me that I got a PowerPoint presentation completed or got my radio spots written.  It's just that I'm not entirely certain when I'm going to get those things done and that's frustrating. 

I know this all only lasts an instant - but I really do want to enjoy my time with each project.  I like to be busy, really busy - but I so appreciate moments to mull things over, to look at them and consider what's been done.  I don't seem to have that kind of time these last couple of weeks. 

I know the best thing I can do right this moment is to turn it over to the universe.  I have set my intentions, I continue to move in the direction of those intentions, and I just need to let go and allow the universe to work out the details....
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