Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Day 151 - Lesson 150

My mind holds only what I think with God.

139 - I will accept Atonement for myself.
140 - Only salvation can be said to cure.

Today - the day that we honor the Law of Karma (cause and effect), I felt out-of-sorts, short-tempered, overwhelmed, and without patience.  I just glanced at this lesson this morning and didn't really give it another thought.  I did close my eyes a few times today and breath deep.  I reminded myself to respond to situations through and with love.  Nothing really seemed to help.  It's like I woke up with an extra-attachment stuck in my chest, and I just couldn't shake it or remove it.

The strange this is I woke up feeling rested.  I had a peaceful meditation.  I practiced my sun salutations and some additional yoga poses.  I had a nice breakfast.  For whatever reason this feeling just stuck around all day.

When I got home, I decided that my knees felt well enough to do my hike, walk, run....I should have stayed with the hike and walk.

I know...I sound like a whiner and I hate to sound like that.  I want to be inspirational for heaven's sake and here I am....whining. 

I re-read my lesson this evening.  I re-read my posts from the original lessons.  I kept hoping that I would feel inspired - that I would have something worthwhile to share.  All I seem to have is this:

Listen to your body and be kind to it;
Appreciate even the days that feel sort of crumby;
Practice is important in most everything;
Love will never steer you wrong.
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