Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Day 131 - Lesson 130

It is impossible to see two worlds.

If, as this says, perception is consistent. What you see reflects your thinking.  And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see.  Your values are determiners of this, for what you value you must want to see, believing what you see is really there.  No one can a see a world his mind has not accorded value.  And no one can fail to look upon what he believes he wants, then I am teetering along that tight rope I addressed a few days ago.  I do see two worlds - or I perceive myself in between two worlds. 

As I consider this journey and where I'm at in finding myself, I definitely feel and experience greater clarity on a daily basis.  I am accomplishing so much more and feeling a greater sense of service.  I am able to look into the eyes of people that I didn't think I liked very much and more often find myself there.  I am able to respond to tension, to criticism, to frustrations with a greater sense of calm and detachment.

I have found myself being particularly harsh to me of late.  I am growing a gut that is quite disturbing.  I was feeling sorry for myself too - you know, "Geez, I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I eat very little animal protein, I'm not cursing like I once did, I exercise regularly - and I'm still getting fat!"  I keep hearing a line in my head from Dr. Wayne Dyer in his Excuses Begone book and DVD in which he says, "Is this 100% true?"  "Can you be certain?"  Oh, so, I keep hearing this because I also keep making excuses about why I'm getting fat - it's my thyroid (I do have hypo-thyroidism) and I don't think my medicine is adjusted correctly.  So, I should call my doctor and have him order blood tests - I just haven't gotten around to doing that.  Oh, it's my age and I'm going through perimenopause.  I'm sure this is true, too.  However, if my thyroid medicine isn't adjusted correctly the symptoms can be almost identical.  I am eating too much sugar - for sure (I love dessert, and chocolate, and licorice).  I am not exercising enough - I walk most every day, but not until the evening hours.  I did recently buy two new pairs of tennis shoes (one for indoor use and one for outdoor) because I want to start the Couch to 5K program.  Maybe I just needed to get this out of my system to help get me jump-started on a plan of loving me more?

This lesson talks about how truth eclipses fear.  This is true.  My journey is one of love and of seeking truth.  As I love more and release my fears, holding on to whatever junk is growing my midsection will be that much easier to lose (I hope).
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