Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Day 146 - Lesson 145

129 - Beyond this world there is a world I want.
130 - It is impossible to see two worlds.

I think one of the greatest comforts I've experienced in this journey has been in the ability to release worry.  Worry, at one time, could easily consume me.  It would paralyze me, make me sweat, make me want to crawl in a hole (or a bottle) to keep it at bay (or so I thought that's what I was doing), make me want to lash out, to judge, to cry, to be sarcastic, to be flippant, to be mean.

This journey and these lessons have enabled me to see how loving more, detaching, and depersonalizing whatever is occurring can create peace and a calmness - a stillness I had only glimpsed every now and then.

Today I heard about two distressing situations that are deeply affecting people I love.  There was a time that I would have personalized these situations.  I would have tried to insert myself, and my opinions, to the point of attempting to control and to fix the problems.  I would have lost sleep.  I would have felt compelled to talk to other people about the situations right away - in part to validate how 'right' I was in whatever I thought should be done.  However, instead of that, I was able to breathe, to pray, to send love, to listen.  Importantly, I am able to take a step back and recognize that the universe is exactly as it is meant to be in this moment.  I can't predict the future, but I can have faith that everything will turn out as it is meant to.  My sole goal should be (and is) one of love and support.  This takes the pressure off without diminishing the response of love and assistance - whatever is needed without my personal opinion of the matter.

There is nothing difficult about loving more.
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