Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 140 - Lesson 139

I will accept Atonement for myself.

This lesson starts with this:

Here is the end of choice.  For here we come to a decision to accept ourselves as God created us.  And what is choice except uncertainty of what we are?  There is no doubt that is not rooted here.  There is no question but reflects this one.  There is no conflict that does not entail the single, simple question, "What am I?"

This lesson is a lot about self acceptance.  It's also about knowing ourselves and 'getting' that we are divine beings.

I thought a lot about making amends today.  I thought about an apology that could be made today, about something that has been on my heart, to someone I don't see much.  I wrote a little note to this person - and felt lighter for having done so.

This lesson inspired me not just to think about accepting atonement for myself, but about apologizing when my heart tells me to, and about loving always.
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