Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 136 - Lesson 135

If I defend myself I am attacked.

I had a whirlwind of a day.  It is Monday, the Law of Giving and Receiving is honored today - which makes me love Mondays.  Mostly it was a beautiful day of giving and receiving.  A day in which I did not feel compelled to defend myself.  It was busy and productive.

However, this evening, as I was busy planning (and feeling prepared because I had a plan) I received notice at about 9:00 PM that the water in my building would be shut-off all day tomorrow.  I was busy getting prepared for a gathering I agreed to host tomorrow evening.  I had developed a plan to complete a portion of the preparation this evening and then complete the rest of what needs to be done tomorrow by enlisting another person's help.  This would free me up to prepare snacks without feeling overwhelmed.  Tuesday is already filled with meetings and I would only have a short time to get everything put together - but I had this great plan.  The 9:00 PM notice threw a serious wrench in my plan.  I felt attacked.  I got mad.  I was irritated.  So irritated that I called the department director of the department supervisor who gave the notice.  I didn't yell or curse or anything of the sort.  I did, however, interrupt his evening - defending myself.

Ugh....after I hung up I recognized that there was no point in making that phone call.  His wonderful partner (and good friend of mine) phoned and suggested an alternate plan for my gathering tomorrow.  She made a very generous offer.  This made me further recognize that had I given the situation a few minutes of thoughtful consideration, rather than a few seconds of irritation, I would have seen that everything would work out.

I rolled up my sleeves and got busy.  There are only a couple of things that need to be wrapped up tomorrow now and it all only took a little more than one hour.  The other things I had planned for that hour can wait.  My schedule is flexible and can be readjusted.  I just wanted everything to fit neatly into my plan - as if my plan were somehow more important than any other plan.  There is a reason for everything.  I made choices that made a slightly inconvenient situation flat out uncomfortable for several other people - and all for what purpose?

Everything is going to turn out just fine.  This may not have been the best or most appropriate example for this lesson today, but it's what I had and it seemed to resonate some.
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