Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 147 - Lesson 146

I have neglected to mention, since the start of this review, that each lesson review starts with this thought:

My mind holds only what I think with God.

And then the lesson review begins.

131 - No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth.
132 - I loose the world from all I thought it was.

I dealt with my shadow self several times today.  Each time, I thought of Deepak Chopra's words - to observe yourself without judgment.  I get restless and begin to struggle with routine.  I see and reflect upon these patterns of behavior.  While there was a time I would act without this reflection, this is an area where I see real progress.  I am not acting without considering the consequences or how my actions will affect and impact others.

I spoke with a long time dear friend today.  We shared some very serious concerns about a situation that has us worried.  There was a time when I would have been judgmental and a 'know-it-all.' Today I was simply honest in letting her know that the only answers I have for the situation are to love more and to have faith that things will work out as they are meant to work out.  Not that we shouldn't encourage change, model healthy communication and behavior, and extend love and support while remembering to honor and nurture ourselves - these are the things we should absolutely be doing.  But I didn't have any advice beyond that. 

The restlessness doesn't consume me any longer.  I no longer feel compelled to have all the answers.  I have relinquished my need to attempt to control everything.  I seek truth and I loose the world from all I thought it was.
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