Today's lesson is certainly an extension of letting go of 'good' / 'bad' labels. Specifically, to practice throughout the day, (but not too much, not too often) this:
This thought about _____ does not mean anything.
I did practice this throughout the day and I found that two times, in what I would normally consider frustrating situations, thinking about this - practicing this helped. It helped me to recognize that I really didn't need to feel frustrated; that the situation was neither 'good' or 'bad' - it just was as it was. That recognition allowed a surprising sense of relief.
As I am working through this course, I am also reading Life After Death The Burden of Proof by Deepak Chopra. Today's lesson and a lesson in Chopra's book are particularly complementary.
But what is an illusion? A kind of magic that hides reality from us? Maya (the goddess of illusion) is more subtle. Let's say I show you a piece of ice, a cloud of steam, and a snowflake. Have you seen any water? If you say yes, then you have overcome Maya - the forms of ice, steam, and snowflake didn't fool you. You went to the essence, which is that they are all made of water.
This offered to me the opportunity(ies) to observe my own thoughts and to then identify and recognize what is illusion. Was my frustration caused by external situations or by something internal - a label, an expectation, a judgment.
As Deepak Chopra reminds me most mornings when I listen to his affirmations - Today I will accept myself, just as I am. This does not mean I don't strive to learn and to grow - but I do accept that I am exactly where my choices have lead me - exactly where the universe intends me to be today....in this moment.
For some reason, Blogger wouldn't allow a new post tonight. So here is Day 5 - Lesson 5. I'll try to repost it soon.
ReplyDeleteToday’s lesson focused on a series of questions to consider given situations where the emotion is perceived as negative and others that are positive. An example of one of the questions is: I am not afraid of _____ for the reason I think. I used this question in particular because there was a situation at work in which I felt afraid – afraid that I hadn’t researched something enough, afraid that I would be responsible for making a costly mistake, afraid that I wasn’t smart enough, not dedicated enough, that I was an imposter not deserving of my job. Yeesh! All of this stuff, all of these thoughts going through my mind, around and around and around; making me feel sick, literally, physically ill. The lesson came to mind – so I said to myself (several times), “I am not afraid of ______ for the reason I think.” Then I got busy. I took the steps necessary to make me feel better about the situation. And lo and behold – I feel completely better and all of that crazy anxiety is gone.
I know people often tell us that if we focus on the positive that is what we will see, that’s what we’ll get, that’s what we’ll experience. That is true – but I think we don’t often receive practical steps to focus on the positive. I see this exercise as being helpful in that regard. Breathing is also good.
Here’s another something I’d like to share this 5th day. The other day a friend of mine posted some comments on Facebook. She had received a spam message on Facebook from some ‘creepy guy’ who ‘found’ her there, wanted to start a relationship, she was the most beautiful woman ever, blah, blah, blah. This friend did not appreciate the message; a response that I think is fairly typical. Anyway, I made a comment to her that was similar to, “On the bright side, you really are beautiful.” To that, another friend of hers, a woman I do not know, said, “Of course she is, that’s not the point.” My initial internal response to this was, “Ouch.” However, I didn’t ever respond again. I reviewed the comments a couple more times as the day wore on and they continued to focus on these creepy kinds of messages and what a jerk the guy was who sent the message.
So, here’s the thing – the point really is that my friend is beautiful. Had we focused on that the whole exchange would have felt good and I mean good all the way into your belly good.
Finally, here’s another thing the course says in lesson 5 – “There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind.”
I had the same reaction to the Facebook exchange when I saw it. (Ouch, on your behalf.) It genuinely surprised me that instead of focusing on the positive aspect of the experience (that she is, indeed, beautiful and that his admiration is entirely understandable), a negative spin was put on it and "creepy dude" and his perceived perversion were allowed to take center stage. Any pleasant, uplifting elements of the encounter were completely lost, as was the opportunity to comfort a friend and make her feel better about the incident. Not only was the biting remark uncalled for, I also found it rather egocentric (that is, unless she truly is an official FB monitor who has the authority to determine a comment's merit - LOL). It was very unfortunate, but I'm glad that you took the high road and didn't waste your time and energy by responding. You are a great friend to have, and after reading the thread, that's what made me feel good all the way into my belly.
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