Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 22 - Lesson 21

Lesson 21 - I am determined to see things differently.  I felt a certain amount of relief when I saw this lesson this morning.  It was similar to receiving an affirmation that I've been headed down the right path the past few years.  The practice of this lesson includes searching your mind for things that cause anger, frustration, irritation and then saying: I am determined to see _______ (person or situation) differently.  It is important to be as specific as possible.  What was so great is that while I could recall situations that had made me angry, frustrated, irritated in the past, I'm not holding onto those feelings anymore.  I am better situated to look at those situations and those people with greater objectivity, greater sensitivity, a renewed perspective from a place of love and compassion.  It is as if a light really has turned on within me that helps me to see that the answer is never anger, it is never fear - when I feel internal tension I am coming to recognize that resolution - true resolution - is never found until love is present.  I don't want this to come across as some naive or pollyanna-ish belief, something deep within me has turned on to help me navigate in ways that I would have never believed possible.  I feel awake and refreshed and renewed (and relieved).

Yesterday and today I've had to deal with a serious situation involving conflict.  Much of the conflict exists internally.  As I've encountered this conflict, I have been able to observe my thoughts and feelings without judgement - without judging me.  I've simply acknowledged that the conflict exists; I've asked 'love,' 'the mystery we call God' for guidance, to tell me what to do to respond and truly, amazingly, even though the conflict is there, it isn't touching me in a way that creates tension.  I recognize that this is coming across as somewhat cryptic and I'm sorry for that.  However, I am simply amazed at the truth of it. The conflict has not intercepted my feelings of joy nor my expressions of that joy.

When I practice present moment awareness and when I approach conflict from a genuine place of love - I see miracles.
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