Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 28 - Lesson 27

Above all else I want to see.  This idea was practiced, as instructed, all day.  The lesson addressed the fact that this idea might seem a little scary - because do we really want to see?  During periods where this might be the question, the instructions encouraged repeating: Vision has no cost to anyone. It can only bless.  I didn't find any discomfort in repeating this idea throughout the day.  In fact, I very much want to see.  I have been busily on a path to see for the past couple of years.

I have been struggling with a dilemma for the past week.  I tried to resolve a conflict - I did this with great sincerity, genuine compassion, open and gentle body language. It didn't work - in fact, the other person heard a "verbal lashing" and her feelings were hurt by my communication.  This completely baffled me.  I had been so hopeful and assured that by practicing nonviolent communication the conflict would resolve in a peaceful way.  I really wrestled with my emotions and asked myself what I could have done better.  I felt like a complete and utter failure.  

Today, after a long walk and some sunshine therapy - I realized that I was satisfied with the way I communicated; I continue to hold nothing but compassion in my heart for the other person.  Even though the situation won't resolve the way I had originally hoped it would, it is resolving in a way that honors love.

I embrace Dr. Wayne Dyer's quote about karma - "How other people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."  (or something real close to this)  I feel like I am beginning to see.
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2 comments:

  1. Rigel and MeJanuary 29, 2011 at 2:07 AM

    Well said Michelle. I can very much identify with these thoughts...

    sharon

    ReplyDelete
  2. nikiFebruary 3, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    i have that quote on my wall at work! :]

    ReplyDelete

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