Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day 51 - Lesson 50

I am sustained by the Love of God.  This is the answer to every problem that will confront you, today and tomorrow and throughout time.

I had an amazing day today.  The activities and associations that filled my day were enriching and rewarding.  However, one thing came up abundantly clearly today that was not amazing, not enriching, and not rewarding. This one thing was in facing the fact that a very important relationship in my life has changed so significantly that it stunned me.

Life is not static and human beings are not static.  The one thing we can always count on is change.  Relationships with siblings often go from competitiveness to friendship, marriages can go from romance to roommates to divorce, parents and children reverse their relationship roles given enough time, and friendships can take myriad paths from talking every day to talking once a year.  While all of these relationships have changed regularly for me throughout the years, I (especially these days) have continued to love and believe in love as the changes occur.  I completely recognize that life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same.  Adjusting to the change can be the tricky part.  I guess that's where I am at right now - adjusting.  For this reason, this lesson spoke directly to my heart today.  I am sustained by the love of God.  Thanks to this love, instead of dwelling on the adjustment and any potential negativity or obsession about the whys of it all, I was able to find joy in all of the tremendous associations and activities of this day.  Without this love speaking to my heart, I very likely would have missed out on such beauty.  I hold this person and the changing relationship in my heart and express to it only love.

This sustains me as well:

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
~ Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

For me this is all about love.
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