Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Day 39 - Lesson 38

There is nothing my holiness cannot do.  I would like nothing more than to believe this is true.  I would like to be in that enlightened place where I feel this. 

I practiced this and kept wondering throughout the day why I felt impatient.  Maybe I'm just trying too hard.  I sort of feel like I'm in an in-between place of before and after, but not quite present either.  I'm farther along on my spiritual path of understanding but still questioning whether or not I'm actually making spiritual progress.  I know that doesn't make much sense....maybe.

I know from all of my studies and lessons that the key is not worrying about tomorrow and not regretting yesterday.  I know what I'm meant to know in this moment.  I guess this is the tough part.  The part where I need to let go of the future and the past and believe in the present - live in this present moment. 

I would like to find a spiritual advisor - a spiritual mentor.  Who would that person be?  Since I'm not of any particular religion - without a Deepak Chopra or a Wayne Dyer or a Marianne Williamson and not that I could just pick up the phone and call one of them....Living so remotely makes this particularly challenging.

Well, I will keep up my studies.  I will strive to believe in and to see my holiness.
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