Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 334 - Lesson 333

Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here.

This lesson addresses the ultimate importance of shining the light of truth on conflict - to forgive it to resolve it.  We must release our defenses in order to resolve it.  This happens pretty readily as we stop taking things personally.  It is amazing to me how when I take a step back and take a deep breath in, when I'm starting to feel like I need to defend something - when I just allow the space to be there - when I allow someone to vent without taking it on; just respectfully listen - I am set free. It definitely takes practice and conscious awareness, but when it happens it is such a beautiful release.  You'll want to experience it again and again.  I know I do.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Day 333 - Lesson 332

Fear binds the world.  Forgiveness sets it free.

This lesson starts out by saying:

The ego makes illusions.  Truth undoes its evil dreams by shining them away.  Truth never makes attack.  It merely is.  And by its presence is the mind recalled from fantasies, awaking to the real.

It goes on to say much more and makes so much sense.  In fact, it dawned on me today as I was getting frustrated with a decision that hadn't been made.  A decision I was waiting on so I could make a decision.  I was actually starting to feel some anger and frustration that I realized I was holding onto.  I cursed, clenched my jaw, I was thinking, "Grrr (well, insert curse word), this is really ticking me off - this needs to happen so I can make my arrangements."  This is when the light went on....there was no one to be angry with, everything is going to work out, maybe not in exactly the way I had mapped out and maybe not in exactly the time line I had planned, but it is all going to work.  I made my arrangements, made plans given the information we have, and worked with all interested parties towards the common goal.  Aahhh, yep, that felt so much better.  Like a weight taken off my chest.

Once I released my, my, my, me, me, me and focused on the common goal things began to fall into place. While I was constricted with frustration (insert fear) I couldn't see how things were going to work out.

Release fear - forgive and be set free.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Day 332 - Lesson 331

There is no conflict, for my will is Yours.

Some days just feel like a blur....like everything is slightly out of focus.  I'd like to think this feeling is a higher state of consciousness - that is about to come into focus, but it must not be, since it doesn't make any sense to me.  Yeah, that was rather flippant.  It was a fine day overall.  I got a lot accomplished.  I always appreciate that.

This lesson continues to reinforce the oneness and wholeness of Source.  And my connection to Source in all things.  There is no reason to fear or feel conflict because all there really is is the Will of Love.

I am understanding my intentions and the direction God seems to be sending me more clearly.  I have released the need to control the journey and I'm learning to let go of a few lingering anxieties.  What a blessing this adventure is.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Day 331 - Lesson 330

I will not hurt myself again today.

This lesson starts by saying:

Let us this day accept forgiveness as our only function.  Why should we attack our minds, and given them images of pain?

My day has seemed to revolve around reminders of: my life's purpose.  Maybe I'm focused too much on this question.  I am so loving being an instructor of Primordial Sound Meditation and Perfect Health / Ayurveda.  I love facilitating the Sunday Gatherings (we recognize the Law of Pure Potentiality and experience an active meditation).  I love preparing and recording my radio spots that run each week.  I want these opportunities to continue to evolve and grow and expand into the way I make a living.

My journey has led me to this new level of awareness and now I just want to embrace it with my whole being.  It's challenging to focus on my bread and butter job - not that I don't appreciate it, I do!  However, I feel so ready to move on and yet I don't know what that means?

I will give it up to the universe, to Source, to Love....the answers will come, the outcomes will spontaneously emerge without my interference.  I leave it to Source - the best possible caretaker of my evolution.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Day 330 - Lesson 329

I have already chosen what You will.

And I am safe, untroubled and serene, in endless joy, because it is Your Will that it be so.

I can say that for the first time in my life this is absolutely true.  I am no longer consumed with worry and anxiety.  Instead, my heart is warmly pulsing with love and joy and I know that, whatever happens, I am safe.  I have no idea what tomorrow or even the next five minutes has in store for me, but I know that as long as I trust in Source I have nothing to fear.  I am loved.  I belong.  Me being here is no accident and my only purpose is to be happy.  Therefore, I choose those things in my life that encourage happy.  When challenges or perceived obstacles arise, I trust that there is a reason.  Often it is in our darkest hours that we are propelled to our brightest experiences.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Day 329 - Lesson 328

I choose the second place to gain the first.

This lesson talks about how we so readily believe what our minds, our egos, tell us.  However, when we listen to the Voice for God, things begin to fall into place so much more easily.  Since we don't always put listening to the voice of God first, we do it second, hence the lesson....

This lesson also says:

It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God's creation is the way in which salvation is obtained.  Yet all we find is sickness, suffering and loss and death.  This is not what our Father wills for us, nor is there any second to His Will.  To join with His is but to find our own.

I wake up each day asking how I may be a vessel of Spirit.  This practice has deepened my understanding of this lesson and opened my heart to far greater possibilities than I could have ever imagined.  I'm not always immediately remembering to listen to the Voice of God, but the more I do, the more I look forward to hearing it.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Day 328 - Lesson 327

I need but call and You will answer me.

There was a time when I didn't believe in this at all.  It didn't seem possible and it didn't seem plausible.  However, once I started making choices that opened my heart and my mind - my eyes were opened to seeing and my ears were opened to hearing the answers provided by God energy.  The more I began to love myself and treat myself with respect and care, the easier I found my way to the field of holy energy that is everywhere.  When I added meditation to my daily practices, I found I was listening to God's voice.  Now I believe.