Why this? Why now?

I have given a great deal of thought to whether or not a blog is right for me. I have been on an amazing journey - some of it very sad, some of it profoundly joyful. Transformation is possible - I know because it is happening with me.

I can't say for sure when it all started, other than it started happening with tremendous regularity upon my 40th birthday. This may be a rather normal occurence - you reach a certain age and start wondering if this is all there is in life. Am I doing what I'm meant to be doing? Are my beliefs real - what are my beliefs exactly?

Here's a smattering of the journey -

I got a divorce and began to discover and explore life from a much different perspective.

I began thinking about my health and researching and reaching out to learn things like: what I should be doing to avoid heart disease. The book, The China Study, changed my life. I am now a vegetarian. This also led me to quit smoking....and finally to stop drinking, too (I don't care what the studies say - just eat the grapes instead).

I have embarked upon an incredible spiritual journey - from a comparative religions class, to studying Ayurvedic living (of which I'm now studying to become an instructor), to learning more about Buddhism, and, as documented here in my blog, an active study of A Course In Miracles.

I am in a place in my life where I finally recognize very consciously that what I put in my mind and in my body is what comes out. As I am reminded most days when listening to Deepak Chopra's soul affirmations, "My body is the garden of my soul."

May I be of vessel of spirit, of loving-compassion.

Yes, I do think a blog is right for me. Thank you for joining me.
Namaste,

mac

Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 157 - Lesson 156

I walk with God in perfect holiness.

Today was one of those days that everything just felt a little bit off.  I woke up feeling good, well rested, and ready for the day.  I meditated, studied, practiced my sun salutations, and embraced the law of the day (giving and receiving).  However, as I walked into work it felt like the world tilted and I didn't quite recover from it. 

Even though, in each encounter, I practiced the law of giving and receiving and, beyond that, I reflected on this lesson over and over throughout the day.  I practiced the mantra - I walk with God in perfect holiness.  I light the world, I light my mind and all the minds which God created one with me.

After leaving work and during my walk with the beagle, I reflected upon my day and how I still felt 'off.'  The world still felt tilted.  The only thing I think I may have figured out is - okay, a couple of - three things:

  • I still struggle with believing that I really am a divine being, and
  • I struggle with forgiving myself when I think I've made a mistake, oh - and,
  • I still struggle when I think people don't accept me - I look for external acceptance much more than I'd really like to admit.  However, now that I've admitted it right out loud it will have less power over me?
So, there you have it.  While I know I was of good help and acted in good service to others today, it was still an 'off' day.  I feel blessed and I know that I am loved.  I appreciate this very moment of recognition and I will repeat, several more times this evening, "I walk with God in perfect holiness."
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)